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Idris Elba And All Of The Other Beautiful People Rumored To Be Fighting Dinosaurs In The Upcoming 'Jurassic World'

By Joanna Robinson | Book Reviews | October 21, 2013 | Comments ()


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Isn’t this post a little premature? Shouldn’t we wait until all the actors are cast and confirmed? Oh sure, sure, fine. But I got a little over-excited by the prospect of Idris Elba sharing screen-time with some raptors. Yes Jurassic World is likely a big mistake. A huge CGI-laden wreck of a mistake. But, you know, Elba! So hold onto your butts, these are the beautiful people who are on their way to getting mauled in 2015.

Nick Robinson
Where Do I Know Him From?: Kings Of Summer or that lost weekend watching a Melissa And Joey marathon on ABC Family.
Cause Of Death: Too cute to die.
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Josh Brolin
Where Do I Know Him From?: Letting Diane Lane get away from him, letting Javier Bardem get away from him, hammer wielding, gay bashing and sweating it out to Cindy Lauper.
Cause Of Death: Though he’s usually hero material, I wouldn’t be surprised if Brolin were the villain of the piece. Clever girls it is.
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Jake Johnson
Where Do I Know Him From?: Enchanting the specs off of Zooey Deschanel, the best time travel movie of the decade, getting paid to drink beer and hit on two of the prettiest ladies in Hollywood. Bastard.
Cause Of Death: He’s undoubtedly comic relief so something adorable and relentless. Compsognathus longipes: the Zooey Deschanel of dinosaurs.
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Bryce Dallas Howard
Where Do I Know Her From?: The Village, nepotism, naaaaaaaaaarrrrfff.
Cause Of Death: Oh that’s a pretty face that’s just asking for a death loogie. Dilophosaurus.
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Ty Simpkins
Where Do I Know Him From?: Out sassing that sass-pot Robert Downey Jr., Insidious
Cause Of Death: Too cute to die.
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Idris Elba
Where Do I Know Him From?: King Of The Pajiba 10, the best show in the history of television, Canceling The Apocalypse, near-boning Charlize Theron, making ratty, hobo coats look good.
Cause Of Death: Nothing less than a T-Rex. It takes a king to kill a king.
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(via CB)


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