Pajiba

Wow, rereading my previous comment, I realize I'm a little too vitriolic for this early in the morning. Thank god Thanksgiving is coming up and I can bask in a food hangover for days...

Nicole, nice job sucking me in. I have had zero interest in this book (on principle?), but your easy writing style is a pleasure. I've done a good deal of traveling and am in a constant state of finding myself, regardless of where I am. Also, yoga is keeping me sane. I'm not one of those who could sit around meditating either, but there are different styles and I've found one with constant movement that helps me let go of everything.

I was forced to read this by my english professor who personally knows Gilbert and seems to think she's the Great White Hope for literature. I'm not sold. The reference to Sex and the City is particularly apt. The entire book is one long catalouge of whiny pity-parties about the deplorable state of her privileged life and how, shockingly enough, a disgustingly expensive trip around the world, good food, and a good lay made her feel better. It's great that she had an awesome year-long vacation, it must be nice to have villas in Italy and friends in Indonesia. However, I foud it incredibly irritating that Gilbert tried to tart up high-end chick lit by spinning her trip as some sort of epic quest for enlightenment.

I picked up this book at a friend's house. I read up until Italy and then realized I was severely bored and had no interest in finding out what comes next... whatsoever. Knowing now where it went, I can't say I'm even the least bit interested in picking it up again. Nice write-up though, Nicole!

Nice review, Nicole, but I'm going to have to jump on the "Counterpoint" bandwagon.

My wife convinced me -- after much pleading -- to give this book a try. I made it through "Eat", with no intention of learning how "Pray" or "Love" turn out. In the clock time it's taken me to organize my thoughts (punctuated by the usual workday annoyances) a couple of other commenters have stolen some of my thunder; in a nutshell, for me Gilbert comes across as a spoiled brat (albeit a well-written one).

Not to go all Wizard of Oz here, but I didn't read one insight that she couldn't have obtained without ever leaving home. Much of what I've heard and read about this book strikes me as involving envy of her privileged circumstance, without regard to whatever growth opportunity may have been available and/or realized. Who wouldn't like to have the resources to be able to take a year off with no income and still be able to indulge in material excess while remaining financially solvent? Virtually anyone would learn something about themselves under those conditions -- whether or not the lessons were helpful to themselves or anyone else.

I think the comparison to Sex and the City was spot on, Aratweth.

Nicole: Loved your review. Hated the book.

As President Lincoln once said, "People are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

She could have saved a lot of money and grief by staying home and admitting how lucky and priviledged she was. Then again, she wouldn't be making all these book royalties.

My wife bought this book because of my recommendation (I saw a review online and suggested she give it a try, since she likes this kind of stuff). She read it all and I picked it up after her, but I only made it about halfway through "Pray" before stopping. I just couldn't relate to her at all, and while I recognize how some people could enjoy it, it definitely wasn't for me. At least I tried. Nicely worded review, however.

This reminds me of how I used to get lured into reading magazine articles with titles like "Be set for life financially," until I realized they all started with some variation of this:

"First, take that $50,000 you have in the bank and ..."

I think I may pick this up finally, just because I like the challenge of reading something I think I will hate. So far, I am along the same lines as Paddy and bucdaddy - I recognize that people get into bad, bad marriages and often need something drastic to finally break out of a bad cycle. I recognize that some marriages never should have happened and that those marriages should end and are not worth fighting for.

That said, I have also seen people bail on what could have been a great marriage because one or both involved chickened out, refused to fight for what they made vows upon, and ran away. In light of our previous discussions of Prop 8, it's a wonder all gay community doesn't hate all us smug marrieds on principle - we devalue the very institution they are fighting for the right to participate in, because we run away when the going gets tough.

To stay and fight, if the fight is worth having, is truly courageous. (Full disclosure: The first two and a half years of my marriage have been the kind of challenge I wouldn't wish on anyone - but we have stayed and fought, and I am fortunate to be with someone I know is on my side in the battle). I will have to read the book to see whether I think her fight would have been worth having.

Come on, who hasn't done this? When I'm feeling that my life is not mine, and I'm not whom I'm meant to be, I go on my own pilgrimage. Granted, I'm not quite as financially solvent, so it's a little different-

1. Go to local 7-11. Eat the entire stock of hostess snacks, expect for the banana Twinkies. Those are just nasty.

2. I don't have access to an Ashram, so it's just down to the train station-hang out a little, meditate, and see if their store has any hostess product.

3. Bali is also out of the question. At this point the two options are bang my head against the wall and/or TK's dungeon for spiritual enlightenment.

Sure it's dangerous, unhealthy and potentially lethal, but Suzie Qs and that Galaga game at the train station make it worth it.

I'm curious how she managed to finance this jaunt around the world. Was she filing travel stories while she was on the road?

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 25, 2008 10:23 AM

She was pretty well-off (without enumerating the details) following the divorce, and her yearlong vacation was funded (in whole or in part) by the book advance she pocketed. So I'm also in PaddyDog's camp in thinking that the entire project was much more deliberate than it was an organic go-with-the-flow journey of self-discovery...

You know, if a man divorced his wife and traveled the world to "find himself" (including the requisite romance with a younger woman) and then wrote a book about his hardships he would be labeled an over priviledged asshole. Because I don't think it is right to label a trait differently depending on the sex of the person you are applying it to, this woman sounds like an over priviledged asshole.

Nicole:

I have to congratulate you. It would have been safe to choose a "cool" book or a safe intellectual read, but you did get us going by your selection. Nice job.

Or popular non-fiction/memoir/autobiography, as it were.

So, who else is seeing the ad for "Who is Mother Divine" with the Indian guy who dug up Little Richard and stole his hair?

I'll admit it - I loved this book, and I'm glad to see an intelligent review of it that doesn't feel obliged to adopt some sort of ironic or sarcastic perspective. God forbid we be a little earnest, or embrace a little sentiment, people!

The reason I liked this book had very little to do with the travelogue premise, or even the trendy yoga/meditation aspect. I liked it because this woman made sense to me. I know what it's like to work REALLY F'IN HARD to achieve your dreams (grad school, anyone?) only to find out you're miserable once you've finished. I know what it's like to be stuck in a relationship that doesn't fit you, but you can't pinpoint why. And all those clichés and Hallmark moments that Gilbert experiences - I've been there, too. Obviously this book isn't for everyone, and no, reading it won't complete you as a person, but sometimes it's nice to know you're not the only person struggling to find yourself.

Love the review, Nicole. I think it fits perfectly with the Cannonball Read...try to read something completely different, that you would normally stay (no, RUN AWAY) from and give it a chance.

This reminds me of reading "Under the Tuscan Sun". Well, I tried to read it, but the whole idea of it just made me a bit angry. And a little jealous, I must admit. Who doesn't want to go on an introspective journey around the world? Hell, if I could do it, I totally would.

As it is, I think I'll go to the mall and get some coffee and a donut.

Who knew that a book with its title spelled out in macaroni, beads and flower petals (hmm, that sounds like a kindergarten arts and crafts project) would evoke such a response?

Like I said, I never had any intention of reading this - and probably never will again - but I gave in. I didn't see Gilbert as running away, only because the visit to the Ashram and the trip to Bali to study with the medicine man were both things that she had planned on long before she put the trip into motion. One of the reasons that I found the last section of the book, "Love," more interesting is that there is less introspection and more interaction with other people. The book becomes less about her and more about what kind of person she is in relation to the people who come into her life.

My admiration for Gilbert comes from the fact that, whatever her motivation - fame, a book deal, etc. - she had the balls to face herself, and that can be be tough. I have days where I look in the mirror and have no idea who I am, because I'm so caught up in the everyday bullshit of bills, family drama, chores and giving the dog his insulin shots. I graduated from college with my shiny new degree and all I wanted to do was go to grad school for an M.A. in Humanities (completely useless), but I needed a grownup job.

That was seven years ago, and here I am, unemployed, with no idea what to do with my life. In the time since, I've worked for a nonprofit, a major pharmaceutical company, a high end jewelry store, and an insurance agency that folded. I have no clue what to do next, and I wonder where that bright-eyed 22-year-old went. I know I'm not going to solve the problem by meditating or hanging out with an ancient, toothless medicine man; I definitely won't figure it out by plowing my way through platters of Italian food, because I've been doing that all my life. I kind of have to hand it to Elizabeth Gilbert for figuring it out in her own way.

I sort of think some people are overanalysing the whole 'go to Italy for months' thing. If you are out of a job and have to search for a new one, or even if you have a new job but can negotiate the start time, if you have no personal commitments, why would you NOT take three months off and bum around Europe? (to be fair it's much easier if you are already IN Europe). My sister's friend (a trust fund baby without the trust fund) did this, working on farms in Italy and France so you learn how to make cheese (or whatever, basically provide free labour) in return for free food and lodging and practice at the language.

Great Gods I hated this book. Hated it. Our book club of almost 10 years actually broke up over it. What a dense, clueless, self-indulgent twit Gilbert is. Her critical thinking skills are hovering around "moron."
Gilbert is incredibly un-self-aware, naive, and gullible. If she'd been a teenager writing about developing some maturity, I might have been sympathetic (although I wouldn't read that drivel either). But a seemingly grown-up person just shouldn't be this stupid AND get paid to write about it.
She was the worst in Indonesia. Really, anyone with an ounce of sense and experience would know that you don't just throw money at people with problems--especially not in the Third World. But when that didn't work out right--predictably--she didn't realize that it was her own stupidity and arrogance that caused the predicament. So then she stooped to dishonesty and manipulation to get her way. And learned nothing.

I think that this book was akin to Twilight, in that I enjoyed reading it, but as soon as I finished it felt as dirty as though I'd just binged on cheap-ass fried food - both books read well, but ultimately leave you feeling unsatisfied and a little queasy (admittedly, Gilbert is a million times more gifted as a writer than the intolerable Stephanie Meyer).

My problems with EPL were numerous. One thing that really bugged me was the way that Gilbert would expound on certain things (be they her own personal morals, the correct way to deal with *greedy and manipulative* third-worlders, or the nature of her sisters personality etc) as though her statements were fact. She would not back-up her statements in anyway, or couch them in langauge such as "I believe" or "in my experience" or "I found", instead, she just wrote as though everything she said was gospel truth without any need to justify herself. (because indeeed all poverty-stricken people are out to get as much money as they can, and this is selfish, and they really should understand her position better - she has to report back to her friends!) That really bothered me in this sort of book, because so many middle-aged women out there who do not possess the critical/analytical/deconstructive skills inherent to us Pajibans (yes, yes, I'm being elitist, but I'm sharing it with all of us!!) read this book as though it were a bible. Gilbert was on Oprah a while back and was treated with such reverence it bordered on being creepily worshipful. She should not be so ignorant as to think that her opinion is the only one and she is self-centred and self-righteous to not express her opinions as opinions but as factual conclusions.

I also had issues with the whole concept of the book - I totally get that anyone can have a seemingly perfect life and then feel unhappy/depressed/trapped. What I don't get is how in the middle of all that pity, there isn't the voice in your head that says "but geez, in so many ways, I'm so much better off than so many people - people who are sick or hungry or who've lost loved ones or who have no money or who can't afford health insurance or ...". Seriously, that voice always interrupts my personal pity parties. It doesn't mean that I get over things, or don't wallow in my depression, it just means that I feel guilty about doing so(!!!) and that I know that ultimately, despite the shitty things in my life, I am a very, very lucky person. This sentiment is absent from Gilbert's writing. In the whole year it took her to have her travel experience and write her book, never did she express an iota of guilt for her inability to cope depsite her very (very!) comfortable existence (I believe, from memory, that she and her husband had multiple houses in New York). By all means, creature comforts do not equal happiness and privilige does not make one immune from depression, but Godtopus almighty, she did not show a shred of self-awarness that there are so many who are worse off than her who could no better piss off for a year of international travels than they could fly to the moon (or afford health insurance or pay off their house or send their children to college or...).

That said, Gilbert is a gifted writer, and she sucked me in, and I enjoyed reading it. But I definitely felt slightly dirty afterwards.

[Sidenote: I have a wonderful friend who felt the same way as I did about the book. She is currently travelling around Africa working at different world-vision centres helping kids with AIDs. She is planning on writing a travel book similar in style/tone to EPL in terms of the things she's learned about the world and herself in her travels. Of course, her subject matter is obviously more serious than Gilbert's, but she wants to write a similarly toned book in order to reach a wide audience and hopefully spread awareness etc. I thought this was an awesome idea. Oh yeah, and she plans on putting all profits into one of the schools she visited. Put that in your self-righteous, self-centred, pity-party pipe and smoke it, Gilbert!]

I still don't know what I think about this book.
I read it because it was there. I'm an ex-pat book-worm who sometimes gets so desperate for printed matter in my mother tongue that I will re-read liner notes from cds I haven't listened to in 5 years. One of my fellow ex-pats passed this along to me and I read it in a few hours.
I really really liked Gilbert, and felt like her tone was authentic, and was happy for her when she saw God and met Mr. Right. I couldn't shake my feeling of contempt for the whole concept of the book, however, from the first page on. Seriously. Everyone I am related to back in the states is a wage-slave. My sister had a serious medical emergency last week (ectopic pregnancy which resulted in a ruptured fallopian tube and an emergency surgery). This was on THURSDAY last week, and on monday she was back at wal-mart stocking shelves. If she tried to read Gilbert's book she'd throw it across the room. I only did lots of eye-rolling, but still.

I'd forgotten, MarcusArilius, but thanks for re-scarring me.

Quite late with this so don't know if anyone will see it. I've been wary of reading this book for many reasons which have already been said above.

As someone who has lived in various places in Asia for many years since graduating from college, I can say that I have learned things about myself (and, of course, the world) that are simply not possible to learn otherwise. Is the life I live better or worse than it would be had I chosen to stay in the US? I don't know, but it's different, and personally I'm glad I took this path.

HOWEVER--I have deliberatly chosen to stay single and basically unattached for this purpose. I MADE myself move to Japan right after college because I knew it was something I would regret not doing, but I also knew that as soon as I started putting down roots back home, it would be harder and harder to leave. As much as I want to live this life, I didn't want to be someone who left her husband/kids/job in a lurch because she suddenly realizes she wants it. I'm not saying people shouldn't try to change themselves, but I do think once you commit yourself to a path where you've tied others' lives with yours, you have a responsibility to them.

The other reason I don't want to read this is--I can't explain it well--I don't want to be preached to by someone who thinks she's "found" something more than the rest of us. I do a lot of writing, and of course much of it has reflected my various travels. But while I love painting pictures of life abroad, I never, never want to try to express the feeling that I've found something that others lack, or that they should be listening to me for any reason other than for their own entertainment.