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100 Books in a Year #71: Caught Stealing by Charlie Huston

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Book Reviews | Comments (15)



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Let it never be said good things can’t ever be free. When the Kindle 2 was released, Amazon boasted a full compliment of free downloads on the site, among them the three novels of Charlie Huston’s Hank Thompson trilogy. Now, it begs the question, why in the pickled fuck would you want to just give this shit away? Maybe the first in the set, but all three? Surely you jest. Surely, it cannot be of any sort of discernible quality. I mean, it looks like Huston’s published a mad assortment of novels. So how good could these really be, right?

Fucking awesome. That’s what, motherfucker.

I find myself tossing down one fantasy novel only to pick up some sort of hardboiled action/mystery novel next. Lee Child’s Jack Reacher, John Connolly’s Charlie Parker, Matt Reilly’s Scarecrow, even the Rollins’ Sigma. My brother’s trying to sell me on this new series by Jonathan Maberry that sounds like Sigma pumped full of zombies. And I decided to throw a homeboy a bone and start in on Duane Swiercyzski’s (that’s probably fucking totally tore up, but with a handle that that, brother’s gotta understand) Wheelman novels. I call this my TK zone: badass motherfuckers just trying to Rambo their way out of tough breaks.

So here we go again, I think. We’ve got a nameless narrator, in this tough guy first person staccato prose, essentially in a world of fucking hurt. He was a former baseball wunderkind, who suffered a crippling career ending injury during a high school game, and basically ended up pissing his life away. Now, he’s a fucking drunk, and I mean a hardcore motherfucker. He actually passes out during a routine exam only to have to have a kidney removed because he destroyed it with all his fucking boozing. So now, he’s fucking limping around with only one kidney, not able to drown his sorrows in even beer, when his neighbor asks him to watch his cat. That fucking cat. What a fucking cat.

As would be expected, shit goes sour for our dear narrator — who only until 100 pages in do we discover is named Hank — as he proceeds to essentially get the fuck beat out of him by varying assortments of thugs. Russians in coordinated tracksuits. Two black cowboys with rings on their fingers. An Asian safecracker with a shock of red hair. And that’s just a few. And all Hank wanted was to watch the Giants playoff games, and maybe pet that fucking cat.

The greatest part of the entire narrative, if you’re carefully paying attention, is that despite the entire tough guy-action hero dictation, Hank’s a fucking mook. He’s a pussy fuck-up. He’s constantly begging them not to kick his ass, and most of the time, he’s trying to run away. He’s more likely to describe in bone-scraping detail how he’s getting his face smashed in rather than his own fisticuff glory. He’s not a hero. He’s just trying to stop people from hurting his friend’s fucking cat.

Huston’s got a great style and pace to his novel. It’s ridiculous without being farcical. Shit’s just weird enough to be comical without taking away from the brutality or badassery. Apparently, Huston’s got a whole other series about vampire mobsters. Where’s Robert Loggia when you need that beautiful bastard? So I’d highly recommend sinking your teeth into some Charlie Huston. It’s meaty good.

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. Details are here and the growing number of participants and their blogs are here.









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Comments

I concur with your assessment. I really enjoyed this trilogy. I loved the first book. The second book wasn't quite as strong, but I enjoyed the third one quite a bit.

All in all, they were highly enjoyable, very quick reads.

I have the first book of his vampire series on shelf and will read it once work allows me to read anything.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 21, 2009 9:19 AM

He's a Giants fan; He deserves every beating and then some.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 21, 2009 9:39 AM

And all Hank wanted was to watch the Giants playoff games, and maybe pet that fucking cat.

The things that men will endure for sports and a pretty kitty.

I think I'll have to pick these up.

Posted by: admin at April 21, 2009 9:50 AM

I discovered Charlie Huston a couple years ago and try and force his books on anyone who'll listen. He also recently did a brief stint in comics, writing the first 12 issues or so of Marvel's Moonknight reboot. I don't know if I've ever read as dark or as fucked-up a superhero book before. Highly recommended.

Posted by: space oddity at April 21, 2009 10:23 AM

I have his run on "Moon Knight" as well. It was definitely a different take on Marvel's "white Batman." I enjoyed it.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 21, 2009 10:28 AM

He's a Giants fan

Oh suck it. Like the team itself isn't punishment enough.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 21, 2009 11:10 AM

MMMMMmmmmmm, Jack Reacher. Lee Child is my crack, along with David Baldacci's Camel Club series. These books are like Happy Meal toys. They're cheap and you have to eat a lot of shit to collect them all, but once you start, there's no stopping. I'll have to check this series out.

Posted by: slower lower at April 21, 2009 11:12 AM

I have read the first in the vampire series, although it's been a few years. If I recall, it was rather bleak and entirely badass. I should pick it up again.

Posted by: lizzieborden at April 21, 2009 12:03 PM

Huston should be required reading on any list.

Posted by: The Judge at April 21, 2009 12:18 PM

"Oh, no. My squad beat the most powerful offensive juggernaut in league history to earn its third Super Bowl win, then won 14 games the next year. Oh, woe is us." Eat a dick, socalled.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 21, 2009 12:19 PM

Tracer & socalled, You two morons do know that Jack was referring to the San Francisco Giants BASEBALL team, not the New York Giants football team, didn't you?

Wait, you obviously didn't because you're fucking illiterate morons who never read any of the books, you're just desperate to appear hip and cool and trendy.

Galaxy FAIL.

Jack had to stop liking and rooting for the San Francisco Giants at the end of the first book so as not to blow his cover. In the second book we come to find that he is now watching the NFL and roots for the Miami Dolphins.

Oh, and these books suck dick simply because serial liar James Frey said that they "kick ass...are beyond cool."

Posted by: StupidStupidMcFartFace at April 21, 2009 12:41 PM

Well, at least your name fits.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 21, 2009 12:51 PM

I read these books a few years ago and I have to agree with the review. They're a pretty good read and it's hard to find a character in any book who personifies, "Wrong place, wrong time" like Hank.

I have also read his vampire books and they have a pretty cool take on the traditional vampire story.

Posted by: Matt at April 21, 2009 3:20 PM

I downloaded all 3 in this series 'cause they were free, and never got around to reading them. Thanks to this review, I'll give them a shot.

Though I'd like the narrator better if he were a Mets fan. Now THAT would mean he knows how to suffer.

Posted by: growler at April 21, 2009 10:15 PM

I grew up in Massachusetts and, when I married a Mets fan, I was nearly shunned by my three brothers. After 2004, some was forgiven, but the wounds from 1986 linger. I tell Mr. Lower all the time that the Mets are the new Red Sox. Fate is beautiful, no? Our mutual disdain for the Yankees is a stronger glue than any marriage vow.

Posted by: slower lower at April 22, 2009 10:53 AM