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One of my greatest regrets is that I urinated on the Alamo.

By Snuggiepants/Kriegerfrau | Posted Under Book Reviews | Comments (17)



ozzy-osbourne.jpg

if you have even the slightest bit of interest in Ozzy Osbourne, please check out this book. I’ve never been a huge fan (but also never disliked him), but after reading this, I really feel as though I know the guy. That’s crazy, I realize, but he and his co-author did such a great job capturing his life and his voice, that you feel all cozied up to him by the end.

Before I get ahead of myself, a bit about the autobiography: yes, he had a co-author. Osbourne is profoundly dyslexic. He can read, but has read only a few books in his entire life. He isn’t a writer, either, obviously. He quit school at 15 and by his own admission has spent most of his life turning his brain to jelly with alcohol and drugs. So yeah, Chris Ayres did the actual writing. Which worried me at first. Ghost writers can be horrible or they can be terrific.

But I didn’t have any reason to worry. Every single word absolutely sounded like Ozzy Osbourne. Completely. The co-author did a bang-up job crafting all of Ozzy’s incredible stories into some great writing. So that concern is put to rest.

The pacing is great, too. One of the pitfalls of any story, real or imagined, is getting too bogged down in a particular part or parts. Doesn’t happen here. There’s just as much detail about his pre-Black Sabbath days as there is about his Black Sabbath days as there is about his most recent decade, and everything in between. And it never feels like too much with names, dates, and places. I was easily able to keep track of who was who as the autobiography went on. I appreciated that.

He seems very down-to-earth and though he acknowledges his material wealth, it really doesn’t seem to have changed him the way it does to many other people. He’s still amazed he has an indoor “bog” and not a bucket outside, which is how he grew up. He’s mature and philosophical about his addictive behavior (he’s been sober for a while now). He describes how emotionally torn to bits he was when his father passed, then his mother, how terrified he was during Sharon’s cancer treatment, and it’s clear how devoted he is to her and his kids.

One thing I found amusing was how Black Sabbath came to be Black Sabbath, with all their dark magic, “Satanistic” stuff. They were just a blues-type group trying to get gigs, when one of the band members thought they’d get more attention if they had a bit of a darker edge. The Manson family was in the news, there was starting to be the tiniest bit of rebellion against all the flower power hippie love fest crap that had been going on for years, and they capitalized on that, strictly as a guess. As we all know, it worked, but I loved reading how Ozzy never failed to be amused and annoyed by the fans who took it all very seriously and would conduct rituals outside their hotel room doors.

Ozzy’s a clown, a bit of a lunatic (the biting of the dove head was done after being totally annoyed during a long meeting with CBS and of course while doped up on everything under the sun), and really a very anxious sad guy inside most of his life, but mostly he’s a good guy. The fact that someone who couldn’t write music or play an instrument ended up the front man of such a successful band and then such a successful solo artist is amazing. He even claims he should have ended up in prison and not in the life he did. But you like him because he’s so damn thankful for everything that’s come his way. Read this. It’s nearly 400 pages, but it only took me about 8 hours to read it, and when I finished, I wish it had been longer.

For more of Snuggiepants’ reviews, check out Kriegerfrau.









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Comments

Great Review! I love me some Ozzy, it's nice to know that he actually might be one of the good guys.

Posted by: karen at August 6, 2010 9:16 AM

Nice review. I've always been more of a fan of Ozzy than his music because he seems like a really entertaining dude. I'll keep an eye out.

Posted by: admin at August 6, 2010 9:21 AM

I'm a huge heavy metal fan but have been avoiding buying this just because I knew there was no way he "wrote" any of it. If Chris Ayres really did that good of a job I might have to actually check this out.

Posted by: Paul at August 6, 2010 9:59 AM

Well alrighty then. I'm sold! I've been looking for some new, good books to read, and this sounds interesting and entertaining.

Posted by: Katers at August 6, 2010 10:55 AM

Ozzy would make a great uncle.

Posted by: , at August 6, 2010 11:20 AM

I wish Ozzy would die already...and take his shitty music and his ugly scuzz family with him.

Posted by: Case at August 6, 2010 11:33 AM

I always think old folks are kinda of special charming!! and so do many hot cougars

on______ Cougarmony . c 0 m _____ the place where hot and sincerely ageless

people meet and mingle, become friends and even more!!!

Posted by: cuttiebabe123 at August 6, 2010 12:11 PM

Love Ozzy. The man's got issues and has done an irrational amount of drugs, but he can still put on a decent show. I've seen him at OzzFest 98 and 99 and both shows were excellent. I'm going to add this to my book list.

Posted by: Melody at August 6, 2010 1:10 PM

HEEE!!!

Posted by: gp at August 6, 2010 2:46 PM

Ha! The first sentence in that spam whore's comment actually looked relevant for a second.

Posted by: Paul at August 6, 2010 4:04 PM

Who knew a book about Ozzy could sound so charming and cozy? I've only seen a couple of episodes of his family's reality show (and I soooo hate reality shows in general) and my main impression was the kids were really annoying but their parents did really love them and Ozzy seemed so damn normal.

Posted by: pickled tink at August 6, 2010 10:19 PM

I read this a while ago, and I totally agree with the review. I just wanted to give him a hug at the end of the book!
Although, after reading about the ridiculous amounts of everything he's done, I am baffled as to how he is still alive.

Posted by: squeeziee at August 7, 2010 12:32 PM

And I'd say his actual biggest regret is probably missing so much of his kids' lives because he was so jacked up on drink and drugs.

He has two children from his first marriage, a daughter and a son, and it sort of bothered me that he only mentioned that son being born and then not much else about him, but then I realized he probably doesn't REMEMBER much. He did tell a story about his daughter being born, but he remembers that better (my theory) because that was his first child, so it was kind of momentous in that sense.

He has five grandchildren, did y'all know that? Can you imagine Pappy Ozzy? Whew.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 7, 2010 5:42 PM

I love Black Sabbath! Paranoid is in my head now, awesome.

Posted by: Mebe at August 7, 2010 8:55 PM

Can you imagine Pappy Ozzy? Whew.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 7, 2010 5:42 PM
---
Uncle Ozzy, Pappy Ozzy, its; all good.

BTW, snuggs, if I wasn't fully, deeply, traumatically in love with you before, and I'm pretty sure I was, I am now.

Posted by: , at August 8, 2010 11:21 AM

Awwww, , getcher ass on Facebook so I can love you up properly!

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 8, 2010 4:58 PM

im an easy going fun intelligent girl! i like to travel and meet interesting people!i love the beauty and i know that beauty will save the world...

Posted by: drunken college parties at January 30, 2011 1:35 PM