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You Fail as a Society

By fff | Posted Under Book Reviews | Comments (8)



nobody_passes_perfectly_01.jpg

Every time I put on a suit, I feel unnatural. I know I have to put it on to pass for that job interview, or presentation, but it feels wrong, and I think it looks completely wrong too. A friend who wears a suit to work everyday told me you get used to it, it starts to feel more natural. You go from feeling like you’re dressing up in a costume, passing as a suit-wearer, to being actually comfortable and not feeling like you’re playing a role.

We all ‘pass’ at one thing or another. In some cases, the stakes are higher: if you’re transgender and don’t pass, you could get murdered, instead of just looking awkward in a suit. Nobody Passes is a series of essays that explores the process of fitting in and passing for something else, from the high stakes cases we all know about — like transgender folks, or immigrants having to pass as citizens to stay in the country — to more thought-provoking categories of passing, like the woman who has to hide her interest in BDSM from her partners, the woman who has to pass as mentally ill to get public assistance, or the one who has to pass as middle-class, but then can use her poor Okie roots to get out of a tight spot with some cops who also turn out to be Okies.

Taking into account these varied life experience, Nobody Passes becomes ultimately about more than just “passing” or “not passing,” but about our own constructions of our identities, how the way we tell the stories of our lives become part of those stories. One of my favorite essays, “Origins” by Kirk Read, comes towards the end, and deals explicitly with how we construct our identites; in Read’s case, how he has constructed his identity as a sex-worker around his first client.

Some of the essays were challenging; I found myself resisting the idea that some of the writers were actually relating experiences of oppression — usually these were the essays that tackled issues I don’t know as much about, or have to work on, like class issues, or gender identities among lesbians. These negative reactions are the ones I learned the most from, about my own biases and negative perceptions.

The most salient point in Nobody Passes is the damage done by the mere idea and practice of passing. “Passing” denotes an in-group and an out-group, something about your identity that is so fundamentally bad, it must be hidden to make others comfortable. It stops us from acceptance of others with complex identities, and mandates conformity to already privileged identities. Nobody Passes is not a basic analysis of identity politics, it requires previous knowledge or a very open mind, but it’s worth taking the time.

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. For more of fff’s reviews, check out the blog.









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Comments

I've been wearing suits since I was 5 years old. My public school uniform in England included a navy wool jacket with the school crest and the school tie. I'm female, and even the girls had to wear ties. Not only do you get used to it and it feels normal, but even now, when I try to wear jeans and a T-shirt, it feels like I'm passing.

I loved wearing suits to work in the 80's and 90's. It made me respect everyone equally, and made getting dressed in the morning a no brainer. As soon as casual days crept in, I started loosing respect for the people who showed up in "wash the car" casual.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 24, 2010 9:33 AM

My experience is almost exactly the opposite, BWeaves.

Started off in private school with the slacks, tie, sweater or blazer. Hated it by the time I got into 2nd grade. Felt false the entire time wearing it, which is a weird way to spend a large chunk of your formative years.

When I finally went to public school and was able to wear "normal" clothes I instantly felt better about myself, even if I did have a much harder time fitting in at first.

To this day, I don't feel comfortable in suits. Tuxedos, on the other hand, are no problem. I feel good in a tux, but that is a clear cut case of dressing for an occasion. Suits, on the other hand, are a societal uniform, and maybe I'm just too much of an iconoclast.

Posted by: ZombieScientist at August 24, 2010 9:52 AM

I'm on the pro-uniform side. I went to a school located in one of the most expensive areas of Dublin and most people there were fabulously wealthy. A few of us weren't. In my class alone, we had two children of government ministers, the daughter of the top TV personality and two kids whose fathers worked occasional odd jobs. We all looked alike. Uniforms were the great leveller. In my case, the death of my father plunged us into sudden poverty but you would never know it at school since I looked the exactly the same before and after. I see kids going to the public school in my neighborhood and it's a fashion show. That can't be good.
Work-wise I have mixed feelings. As a consultant I will dress up for client visits but more to empower myself than because of their office culture. I do think ties and nylons should be banished forever: they're uncomfortable and (in the case of nylons) unhealthy. Dress smartly but not so uncomfortably that you can't get anything done. I hate when people wear virtual pyjamas to work on casual days, but then I hate the whole pyjamas culture.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 24, 2010 10:36 AM

This sounds like a very interesting read! I feel like it'll make me cry a lot, though.

Posted by: LowSlash at August 24, 2010 11:21 AM

I would have loved to wear a uniform in school. I went to junior high and high school in the '80s, so uniforms in public schools were not at all common, unfortunately. Having one more thing to worry about (ie, whether your clothes were "cool" enough or fashionable enough) really sucked. Would have been nice not to have to think about it.

Posted by: Slash at August 24, 2010 11:53 AM

I remember "passing" in high school when hanging out with the hoods - booze, drugs, and hot chicks (and knives). I was allowed because I had a big allowance and could pay for the stuff we were acquiring. But I could never let slip that I read books. One big mean guy mentioned "I like Pat. He don't say shit".

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