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100 Books in One Year: Beautiful Boy by David Sheff

Cannonball Read / Nicole

Book Reviews | February 24, 2009 | Comments (14)


Being pulled into something like Manic or Beautiful Boy is wearying because, when done well, a memoir puts you in the place of the author, and you relive all of the pain, sadness, and horror with her or him.

Beautiful Boy is writer David Sheff’s account of his son Nic’s transformation from a sweet, intelligent and outgoing child into a lying, cheating, stealing meth addict. Sheff starts where a good memoirist should, at the beginning, with Nic’s birth. He is detailed and unsparing, telling of the hazy happiness of Nic’s early years and then the pain of his divorce from Nic’s mother, who moves from San Francisco to Los Angeles, setting Nic up for a custody arrangement that pulls him between the two places on a consistent basis. The story threads its way through Sheff’s remarriage and the births of his two younger children, Jasper and Daisy, and weaves in and out of Nic’s formative years and his seemingly bright childhood. Nic Sheff was smart, athletic, and creative, and when David discovers marijuana in his preteen son’s backpack, he doesn’t quite know how to handle it. He’s done all of the things the experts tell parents to do, and spoken openly with Nic about his own drug use and the dangers of doing drugs. He takes Nic’s word that he only tried it once and didn’t like it, and doesn’t see that under the surface of this ideal high schooler, with his stellar grades and likeable personality, is a young man experimenting with alcohol and harder drugs, until the day that Nic first disappears and then calls, begging to be picked up in an alley, where he confesses that he’s been using meth. David had his own experience with the drug once, in college, and is horrified. He begins a journey to find as much information and help for his son possible while Nic goes down a horrific road of abuse, rehab, and relapse.

Beautiful Boy is different from a lot of drug memoirs in its broad scope. It doesn’t only focus on the addict, but also on the friends and family around him, and Sheff also incorporates a lot of the research that he did while trying to help his son and provides an impressive education on treatment options, the pitiful lack of effective substance abuse treatment care available — it seems that rehab is as much of a business as Big Pharma, and just as dependent on return customers — and the physiology of drug abuse, particularly with regards to brain chemistry and meth. According to the many experts that David Sheff consults over the years, meth is the single most dangerous drug available with regards to what it does to the user’s brain structure; meth, more than cocaine or heroin or any other street drug, actually destroys the brain tissue and turns it to mush. The damage is usually permanent and makes meth addiction the most lethal substance abuse issue today. What makes this book so gripping is that it’s written by a father who doesn’t know how to help his son, but can’t let go of him either; there are snatches of song lyrics and poems intertwined with vignettes and memories of Nic before the addiction. Nic is such a likeable and engaging person when he isn’t on drugs that you can’t help but root for him, and it’s crushing each time he relapses. The Sheffs, and, by proxy, the readers, walk on eggshells, waiting for the next wave of bad news, wondering where their beautiful boy has gone and if he’s ever coming back.

If you have an ounce of empathy, you can’t help but ache for this family. They never thought that it would happen to them; Nic was raised with love and good schools and supportive parents and adoring siblings. At times helplessness and despair radiate off the page, and at one point I realized that I was holding my breath as I was reading. It’s a good book, but it’s draining because Sheff’s writing draws you in and invites you to pull up a chair and watch while a family falls apart. In other words, it does its job. The question you have to ask yourself, as a reader, is whether or not you can handle it.

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. Details are here and the growing number of participants and their blogs are here. And check here for more of Nicole’s reviews.









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Comments

I have a brother who is "lost" (for many reasons, among them possibly drug abuse) and I have been mulling over reading this book. As a new mother, though, it's almost too horrifying a prospect. You can do everything right and your child can still go down the wrong path and not come back.

Posted by: samantha t at February 24, 2009 9:30 AM

This is an excellent review, Nicole.

Posted by: Sean at February 24, 2009 10:05 AM

Awesome review.

Posted by: catag at February 24, 2009 10:37 AM

My heart hurts.

Posted by: admin at February 24, 2009 10:50 AM

Wonderful review. Nic Sheff also has also written a book in which chronicles his addiction, called Tweak. I've not read either, but I think it would be interesting to see the same story from both sides. I'm sure the perspective of the addict is wildly different from the parent trying to save him.

Posted by: Heather Mooney at February 24, 2009 11:20 AM

I have a brother who is a heroin addict. I read this book seeking solace and understanding. I would recommend it to anyone who feels 'lost' along with a family member or friend. At times, I put it down because I could relate so strongly that it hurt, but overall it was therapeutic and informative. I plan to read Tweak next and I'm curious to see how they complement or discount one another.

Posted by: jd at February 24, 2009 12:07 PM

Having read both Tweak and Beautiful Boy, I can say that both books read together make for an awesome experience. It can be incredibly draining emotionally, particularly for anyone with a family member who is/has gone through addiction or if a reader themselves has, but it is worth it. Having both sides of the story and knowing what the other person's perspective was of the same time period is incredible, whether it's Nic lying about his circumstances or Nic's takes on what brought him to this point in his life, or his Dad's need to protect his own sanity, etc.

Posted by: luvtheshoes at February 24, 2009 12:57 PM

Samantha t and jd, I'm very sorry about your respective brothers. It's easy for people to focus on the addict and forget that the family and friends around them can become just as damaged, if not more so, than the addict himself.

I've never done an illegal drug in my life. I have a friend who was in such disbelief when I told him that he said, "I didn't think people like you existed." My uncle, who has been a resident of the state mental hospital in Norristown for many, many years, did every drug under the sun and seeing how he turned out was more effective than any egg-frying PSA they tried to scare us with in the eighties.

Posted by: Nicole at February 24, 2009 1:19 PM

My sister has been a Meth addict for years. She's been in and out of the legal system for most of her adult life (she's 41), been through several stints of rehab, sobriety and relapse. I saw this book recently, but I thought it would be too painful. I think I'll give it a try and pass it along to my mom. Thanks for the review.

Posted by: MissNev at February 24, 2009 2:13 PM

Nicole - thanks for your kind words. In my brother's case, he's MIA so often that we really don't even know if it's an addiction issue, a mental issue, both. I don't want to compare myself to JD and MissNev imprecisely!

That being said, I was so stressed trying to conceive my second child (though I'm nearly 12 weeks along now - thank you, thank you) and was just devastated at the thought of having only one child. I felt I needed a "spare" in case I had a child like my brother. Issues, I know.

Posted by: samantha t at February 24, 2009 2:40 PM

One of the things that I thought was interesting about the book is that Sheff raises the very valid theory that some drug addicts are also suffering from mental issues, but that it can be too late (basically, too far into the addiction) to tell the difference. In fact, especially in the case of meth addicts, the brain damage can be so significant that the two can be so intertwined that there is no way to determine which came first.

I guess my point, samantha, is that you've felt and still feel the same pain that the families of addicts, and people like jd and MissNev. You're not alone. And congrats on the second bambino. Be healthy and well!

Posted by: Nicole at February 24, 2009 2:56 PM

During one of my sister's more recent bouts with rehab (court mandated), it was suggested that she suffers from mental illness (something we have speculated for years). Her therapist isn't sure if the mental illness was there first and her drug addiction was her way of self medicating, or if her years of abuse have taken their toll, or a combination of both. I would venture to guess it's both. Now I'm very interested to read this.

Posted by: MissNev at February 24, 2009 3:07 PM

I have an 18 year old brother who seems to be well on his way down this path. I don't know if he's tried meth, which he's always promised he wouldn't, but he seems to be pulling away from me and I used to be the only one he trusted and confided in. Does this book give any insight on how to deal with this problem in general, or is it too specific to the situation?

Posted by: tinmo at February 25, 2009 11:08 AM

Tinmo, I don't know if the book is too specific, although it certainly centers around one family. The main thrust of it is that you can love an addict, but you can't live for him. You have to live your own life while offering the right kind of support. It's not easy. It's actually fucking brutally hard. The key is to letting go when everything inside of you is screaming to hold on, and knowing the difference between letting go and giving up.

I think, because the book is very well-researched and informative, that it can't hurt to read it and help gain some perspective and insight on addiction, family, treatment options, etc. It might even help you to find ways to deal with your own situation, or at least a launching point. For now just try to keep the communication between you and your brother open and let him know that you love him and you're there for him if he needs help (serious, rehab or counseling help, not money) or someone to talk to. I wish you all the luck in the world and if you want to get in touch with me you can always contact Dustin.

Posted by: Nicole at February 25, 2009 1:37 PM


















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