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Disney Concludes That Guys Don't Like Hairy Girls

By Christopher Campbell | Posted Under Blog Trends | Comments (16)



patricia-arquette-human-nature.jpg

Despite making millions off of a merchandising craze based around its princesses, Disney has decided that the royal signifier simply doesn’t work for its movie titles. And not only does the studio blame the term for the disappointing box office for The Princess and the Frog — which would have earned more money as is save for the fact that the word “princess” turns off young boys — but it’s using paralleled logic to explain the decision to retitle an upcoming animated feature from Rapunzel to Tangled.

Last I heard, John Lasseter claimed that the film isn’t really an adaptation of the classic fairy tale and so calling it “Rapunzel” just didn’t make sense. I like that reason far better than the new statement that “Tangled” is supposed to be more gender neutral than “Rapunzel.” I know, not a lot of guys are into hairy girls the way Mo’Nique’s husband is, but I also don’t think anyone is making such kinds of connections anymore than they’re making links to The Peanut Butter Solution.

Disney exec logic: “Oh, no that movie isn’t very popular and it’s about people whose hair won’t stop growing. We can’t call our movie ‘Rapunzel’ because that title is synonymous with someone with an uncanny amount of hair. Never mind that our film really is about a person with really long hair. We’ll fool everyone with our new title, which sounds like a thriller and not like something kids will see at all!”

Well, I know I was not like most boys, but I can honestly say I had a Rapunzel fantasy at a very young age. But, whatever, rather than attempting to market to those few others who might also have a thing for Crystal Gayle or Splash-era Daryl Hannah, go with a name associated with being stuck in a web and spiders and Spider-Ma … oh, I think I get it now.

Here’s what the rest of the blogosphere thinks of Disney’s reasoning:

  • Tom Ganjamie at Best Week Ever:
    “Rapunzel”? What is that, a WNBA team or something? Get out of here with your “Rapunzel.” Read the sign. This clubhouse says “No girls allowed.” Dudes, lets all go see Tangled and then hit up a strip club. Guys night out!
  • Erik Davis at Cinematical:
    Here’s what I don’t get. The name Rapunzel doesn’t immediately sound like a girl’s name, so if you know the name Rapunzel, then you know it because you’re familiar with the classic fairy tale. And if you’re familiar with the classic fairy tale, then you know it’s about a dude who rescues a girl with very long hair from the tower she’s been trapped in for years and years. So why would boys not want to see the film if it’s called Rapunzel if they already also know that there’s a pretty cool dude in there too? I just don’t get it. Besides, aren’t the kids going to see the trailer … and isn’t the trailer going to show them that there’s a — wait for it — girl in the movie?
  • Kyle Buchanan at Movieline:
    That’s the same rationale that got Disney’s in-development project The Snow Queen canned (on account of the difficulty of renaming it Snow: Monster Truck Explosion, we presume).
  • Paul Tassi at JoBlo.com:
    A good movie is a good movie. Pixar could name their next project LADY FRILLY PINK PANTS and if it was well done, it would still be a smashing success like all their other films. I think Disney’s just making excuses here.
  • Linda Holmes at Monkey See:
    So now, instead of sounding like a princess movie, it sounds like a Lifetime movie about a murdered salon owner. Fantastic. […] Oh, and I might mention that Alice In Wonderland recently made a fair amount of money on its opening weekend as well, despite not being called Hatter!
  • Matthew Perpetua at Vulture:
    Disney may have learned the wrong lesson from the lackluster performance of Princess and the Frog. For one thing, was it really the premise of the movie that turned kids off, or the fact that it was a hand-drawn animated picture being sold to a generation raised on the digital animation of Pixar? Perhaps it wasn’t a negative reaction to girliness, but rather a rejection of Disney’s old-fashioned taste. Maybe the swashbuckling hero written into the story will work out and draw little boys, but forgive us for being skeptical of the demand for an homage to Errol Flynn in 2010.
  • David Chen at /Film:
    What concerns me is the renewed emphasis on marketing, widespread appeal, and profitability. We’ve already seen that Disney isn’t interested in making a sequel to the wildly popular film The Proposal, which grossed $315 million worldwide. Why not? Because they can’t make toys, greeting cards, action figures, or a theme park ride off of it. When you are that focused on cross-platform marketing, I have to wonder how you can manage to keep your artistic integrity intact.

Finally, let me leave you with good reason why your daughters shouldn’t watch Disney Princess movies. Those girls are bitches:









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Comments

fapfapfapfapfapfapfap

wait, this isn't Drunken Stepfather?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 9, 2010 8:16 PM

Pixar could name their next project LADY FRILLY PINK PANTS

That sounds... like porn.

Posted by: MM at March 9, 2010 8:20 PM

I am reminded by the J. Geils Band frontman Peter Wolf in his live preamble to "I Must Of Got Lost"...

“Hey what's that chick with the long hair? Rapunzel? Heeeeeeey Reputa… Hey Reputa the Beauta, let down your hair and let me climb up the ladder of your love!”

See? It can sound cool, it might need a fifth and a couple of ounces, but it can be done.

Posted by: bleujayone at March 9, 2010 8:29 PM

I'm having real problems with the hygienic situation at play here, I mean this is one hairy bitch. That bush is bound to be massive, then you have what looks to be a tropical forest setting, that's like what, 95? 98 degree temps?

All that humidity?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 9, 2010 8:36 PM

I used to have hair down past my derriere, years on end this was (heh) - the worst was hastily making a snack...and ending up with a three foot hair in your lunch - ralph! But I must say that most guys went hubbedy-schwing when you tossed your hair and giggled like it cost i.q. points. I kinda miss it, but middle agers look more 'sad cat lady' than 'catwoman' with it.

I'm pretty sure that an artful poster with a hint of...'maybe, just maybe we'll see something that is almost a booby' will sell the concept to boys just fine.

(and before you laugh at me for being naive in this world of rampant internet lusties, most little guys just aren't ready for the kind of plasticized, mammoth, hobag fare that is everywhere - THAT's the kind of shit they filter out.)

Posted by: replica at March 9, 2010 9:06 PM

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 9, 2010 9:32 PM

By this logic, wouldn't calling the movie Tangled imply even worse connections with lots of unkempt hair?

Posted by: Claire at March 9, 2010 9:44 PM

And another thing, there isn't even any product.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 9, 2010 9:49 PM

I had a Rapunzel fantasy too, but I would have looked like Angela Davis, so it wouldn't have worked.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 9, 2010 10:40 PM

One point that was brought up on another message board: The Princess And The Frog brought in $222,000,000 in ticket sales worldwide. Even taking into account production and marketing costs, that's still a pretty healthy amount of coin for a so-called "lackluster performance" by a major studio film.

And on the topic of Rapunzel, I would like to say three words: Debra Jo Fondren.

That is all.

Posted by: a disturbingly large amount of poo at March 9, 2010 10:42 PM

In my experience, a hint of 'Almost booby' suffices nicely.

I have had varying hair lengths from crew cut to lower back. Currently working toward the later. Hair is just the set dressing.
And BOY does it get in the way when you go down.
Just sayin'....

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 10, 2010 12:24 AM

Posted by: robot_monster at March 10, 2010 1:27 AM

Oh, John Lasseter. I expect better from you.

Also, that header pic made me make this noise:

AAAAAUUUUULLLLLLLAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHUUUHHHHHHNOOOOOOOO....

(last heard when the Human Centipede made its debut)

Posted by: Jelinas at March 10, 2010 3:35 AM

I used to have hair down to my butt, and boy was it a pain in the ass. It took forever to wash and dry. I always had to straighten it (iron it, or use chemical straightener, or both) or it would tangle like crazy. Hubby loved it, but he was always laying on it and ripping hanks out of my head unintentionally. Get your damn elbow off my hair. I was actually thrilled to chop it off when I accidentally melted it with the straightener. I look younger with a nice short hairstyle.

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