Pajiba

so that's where that song comes from.....

Whoa, Bethy, just whoa. Are you serious? Wait..are you twenty?

Why do I have the sudden urge to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin for the 78th time? Despite Jim Carrey's shakey track record, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt since he made The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine. That, and I love me some Lisa Lampanelli.

I had no idea the song was from this show, either! I knew it was from something, of course, but I thought it was some sort of buddy sitcom. Maybe bosom buddies. Ah well. -20 TV geek cred points for me. I blame the fact that GAH was for some reason never in reruns when I was younger.

Tsk tsk, Bethy..you're gonna call every senior citizen pajibite down on your head now.

I've always liked Mathew Perry, for some reason. I'm definately gonna check The End of Steve out. Dark humor is my thing, anyway. The rest of the lineup just isn't interesting enough to provoke a response. Except...how I wish I still had HBO so I can watch more George Carlin! Really regretting canceling my movie channels now...damnit...

Wilmer Valderrama must have the dirtiest most obscene photos of Hollywood's major players for him to be getting work.

Emily's Reasons Why Not

Why, oh why, did you have to remind me that I watched this vacuous waste of space and brain cells? That show was so bad I believe that it may have contributed to global warming. I certainly wanted to burn my tv set. The only reason I watched it is because Heather Graham is usually not that bad.

Besides, I am a sucker for 3 things: Mob/Gangster movies, the pretty, and Italian food. That show had some pretty with Mark Valley on it for 2 minutes. That could not even cover the stench of suck.

As soon as you brought up "Greatest American Hero" my mind went to that Seinfeld episode (and thankfully not to the actual show. I'm not thrilled about Heroes bringing that dork on for even a moment, but ok - if it's just a nod...

I agree that Matthew Perry was exceptional on Studio 60 - in fact the only person I enjoyed watching - except that chick who played his sometimes ex. The rest of them were like West Wing redux, and I just wasn't into it. And can Steven Weber please do something to make himself stop looking like an old woman? I can't figure out what it is, but I can barely look at him.

Bethy, are you even old enough to Pajiba?

I saw Carlin a little over three years ago at the Tower. One of the best nights of my life.

Matthew Perry? Yes, please.

GAH was a suck-ass show which, I believe, didn't make it through a suck-ass second season.

Bethy is all the more better off for not recalling it, and I'm all the more tainted for remembering it at all.

William Katt is responsible for 2 great movies for me. #1. House...possibly the campiest, corniest piece of cinematic brilliance EVER!!! Not to mention those eveil squatty munchkin lookin things that stole the little kid he was babysitting for that blonde neighbor who looked like she wanted him to give her the ole'donkey punch. Those things were effing scary. #2. Naked Obsession I was 10 or 11. That movie taught me that light choking in the bedroom can be hot. My Teddy Ruxpin had slight brain damage from oxygen deprivation within a month or so, but I was learning dammit!

Clearly, Pissboy's thought-mouth editing mechanic is broken again.

Also re: GAH, songs, holy fuck do you guys make me feel old. AND I'M NOT THAT OLD, DAMMIT.

Damn whippersnappers!

William Katt will always be Carrie's prom date to me.

That movie taught me that light choking in the bedroom can be hot. My Teddy Ruxpin had slight brain damage from oxygen deprivation within a month or so, but I was learning dammit!

You are not allowed in Pissbaby's playroom.

hey!
I am not that young!
I will have you know I will be 25 in August, thank you very much!
kids I babysat are graduating high school....that makes me feel pretty damn old (but then again, my mom counters with the kids she babaysat for have kids who are graduating high school)

like Roads, I knew the song was from some 70's sitcom, I just was not sure which specific one

and if it makes you all feel better, it is now stuck in my head and I can't get it out

The only reason I watched it is because Heather Graham is usually not that bad.

Melody, I'm going to assume you mean she's usually not as excruciatingly, boner-killingly awful as she managed to be in that one instance, and not that she usually isn't terrible. Since she's usually terrible, though she's a foxy mama, as the kids say. In 1974. The key for Heather is roles where she doesn't speak, e.g., Rollergirl.

Bethy, stop feeling old. If you feel old at 25, imagine how you'll feel at 35. I'll tell you: pissed off at the 25 year old you, wishing for a time machine so you can head back and give yourself a good talking to. Trust me, I speak from experience. Try feeling smug about it instead. Pissboy: did that movie House feature a mirror into which things mysteriously disappeared? Also, Romany Malco is hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. That is all.

Heather Graham can be bone-meltingly hot, but she is simply horrific as an actress. Really, really, awfully, terribly, sucktastically worthless.

Hey, Heather Graham was actually pretty good in 'Scrubs' also. Then again, 'Scrubs' makes all of their guest-stars look good. The 2 episodes with Heather Locklear are emblazened forever in my memory.

When i was seven, i had a Shaun Cassidy poster on my bedroom wall, ripped from the pages of Tiger Beat magazine (Leif Garret and Pablo Cruise are on flip side). He was my first crush, but quickly replaced by Matt Dillon and Borje Salming.

If you don't count my trip to see Pokaroo and the Polka Dot Door, then he was also my first concert-going experience (second being David Bowie... slightly cooler). Glad to see he's doing something productive and skipping the celebrity fit club/rehab tour, unlike the ex-beloved Kinicki and Tommy Bradford.

The Wilmer show sounds

SoCalled, that is exactly what I meant. She was great as Rollergirl and rather good on Scrubs. The rest is questionable/terrible, but that "show" is on the list of the 5 worst things I have ever seen.

Would Pajibites really stoop to the level of taunting well-meaning eager-to-learn youngsters for their "ignorance"? Methinks not.

It's no sin not to know all the Seinfeld trivia.

Except if you pride yourself on winning pub quizzes on the subject. Cause then you've clearly never gone State.

AAARGH....All this talk about GAH has gotten that song stuck in my head...with George's voice interjecting every now and then to sing...

Bethy...listen to megbon...she is wise beyond her years (hehe, notice how I interjected an age-related pun in there? That's talent). I want to go back and slap my 25-year old self for moping around and thinking I hadn't done anything with my life. Just do what I do when the years begin to dominate your mind; think of Bruce Willis' character in Death Becomes Her. He started leading a full life at 50...almost like he started over.

PissBoy...there are just no words...you surpass yourself everytime.

oops, the last sentence fragment was meant to be deleted. the post was going to end by my comparing the wilmer show to "juan in a million", but i'm probably the only person on this board who has seen that fiasco , care of a vhs dollar-bin in rural nova scotia.

Heather Locklear

She will always be Amanda Woodward to me. That role was written for her.

You kids make me laugh, talking about feeling old.

**shakes fist**

Get off my lawn!

Damned kids!

"Greatest American Hero" was early 80s. I think Bethy was born right after it finished.

Now, I can't be mean and think someone's stupid because they don't know that song's origin (my internet elders have always been nice to me), but it IS troubling. One starts seeing generation gaps sprouting after college and this is the latest shocker for me.

I wonder if MST3K will get more and more inscrutable as time passes. Most of the references are things that were already in the past. For instance, in "Angels Revenge" when Jack Palance's drug dealing flunkie nephew gets a bottle smashed on his head and tries to recover, Crow says "I'm gonna put on the suit the aliens gave me!" So soak your children in the pop culture of the last 500 years or they're gonna miss out!

Oh come on, I'm 19 and I know the (real) words to that song. You're just a silly sally, Bethy.

Since the only thing I have is Showtime (out of HBO, Starz etc) I'll definitely be watching The End of Steve. Rescue Me is one of the funniest shows on TV, and I'm not going to miss it if it has ½ the funnies on the new pilot.

And are you suggesting, oh hallowed TV Whore Seth, that Conrad isn't returning to the fourth season of Weeds? I was in no way aware of that. I thought they were just waiting a couple eps for Conrad to pop out of nowhere in Ren Mar. Dammit. Conrad and Heylia were some of the funniest people on that show. And now we're not going to know what happens with Vaneeta's pityfuck lovechild with Sanjay? I thought that was going to be a main joke/character development with Sanjay this season, so double dammit.

(And now for something completely different.)

What the hell was Emily's Reasons Why Not? I've never heard of that.

Jay, all bitchyscathingness this site proclaims to spurt aside, I've always found it a forum for sharing knowledge, inane as well as insightful. And alkilove.

btw, MST3K?

I thought they kicked you off of the fun part of the internet when you got old. Then you're sent your obligatory Presto HP Mailbox and get pictures of grandchildren and Colonial Penn life insurance offers.

Jay, MST3K was pretty pop-culture-y... but nothing like today. So much humor is aggressively meta nowadays. On the plus side, though, that narrows the shelf life of a Wayons Brothers movie considerably. And for that I think all the unborn babies in the world should be profoundly grateful.

And, while I'm dropping wisdom to the youngsters out there, a piece of advice passed down among the women of my family: There comes an age where a woman is too old to fall asleep with her makeup on, and that age is 30. Live it.

Emily's Reasons Why Not was a terrible, horrendous, awful show that was so bad it lost over half of it's audience while the show was on from start to finish. It was a 30 minute show. It aired for one episode. It was supposedly based on a book with the same name, which if the book is like the show, reading it may cause a loss of 50% of one's functioning brain cells. Heather Graham was Emily, a woman who keeps ditching guys if she came come up with 5 reasons to leave them. She is a self-help book author. If I recall correctly, there was also the stereotypical friends, i.e. saucy, mouthy ethnic woman and over the top gay man complete with feather boa. The main thing I remember from the lone episode that I watched, in it's entirety, was the reason that Emily had to dump this guy because he practiced Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, because according to her ex and co-worker, it was "the gayest sport ever".

Like I said, worst show ever. I watched it in abject horror and wondered how this made it to television.

megbon and Shadows, thats why I am trying to cram in as much stuff into my life as I can now
its the reason I am flying to another country/continent in a week where I know absolutely no one to work for two years
it is all about the experience (terrified as I may be...)

Jay and jaci, I have never been all that much into TV, no matter what year, so I suppose you could blame it on that
no need to start worrying about my generation as a whole!

Adere: Mystery Science Theater 3000. (Season 3 IS one of the best of the last 20 years)

There comes an age where a woman is too old to fall asleep with her makeup on

Hell, I was too old in high school. Robert Smith's a terrifically easy Halloween costume that you can do year after year (especially when you use that low maintenance hairstyle most of the time anyway) , but overnight eyeliner's a bitch and a half to get off. Then after you learn about not leaving it on, you learn about trying cold cream instead of a washcloth. Yow!

but that "show" is on the list of the 5 worst things I have ever seen.

Melody, I'm assuming "The Golden Girls" Pillowfighting-with-the-Bishop episode made the cut?

That's awesome, Bethy. There's a whole world full of pretty waiting to be taken in the middle of the night.

Bethy, that sounds AWESOME! Are you planning to blog about it? I think you should so I can live vicariously through you for a while. My daughter is only four, so I can't live vicariously through her for a LONG time!

one more thing, when i was in france last summer, they were replaying "greatest american hero" and "jake in the fatman" on french tv, during prime-time hours. surreal.

hey,re: my first post, are there no other back-in-the-day-shaun-cassidy-fans out there, or are there only men on this board who are born before 1975?

c

I'm mostly meh about the contents of this Round-Up, but with all the Shaun Cassidy love bouncing around, I felt that I had to clue Pajiba Nation into Cassidys first outing as a producer, the sadly overlooked and short lived 'American Gothic'.

A damn fine show. Joe Hardy did good.

Now, I can't be mean and think someone's stupid because they don't know that song's origin

I don't think anyone is stupid for not knowing about the GAH song, I'm just surprised when someone doesn't know about something like that. Since my life experiences are the ones that everyone else should have had, television shows and movies included. (End sarcasm) It's like Mr. McGee not having seen Motel Hell or knowing that pork rinds are made of pig skin. Just surprised.

My eyes have not seen that and have no plans to.

My imagination is trying to take up the slack. Thanks, socalled. You will pay for this.

I watched GAH as a kid cuz I was a superhero nerd. It was passable, but Connie Selleca was certainly no Lynda Carter, so my interest was half-assed (half-mast?).

Anyway... I have a 6'5" buddy who has the GAH symbol tattooed full-size on his chest.

That is all.

I thought Shaun Cassidy was dead. Am I thinking of the wrong person?

That is not knowing that pork rinds are made out of pig skin. Clarification on that sentence for anyone who cares.

There's people who haven't seen "Motel Hell"?

Celery - I wore OUT that Shaun Cassidy album where he covered "Da Doo Ron Ron." That said, Shaun was the lesser Hardy Brother. Parker Stevenson was my guy. I also preferred Luke Duke.

Kolby, I suspect that you are thinking of Andy Gibb. His love is higher than a mountain, love is THICKER THAN WATER.

Am I thinking of the wrong person?

Yes, Joshua Jackson.

"Yes, Joshua Jackson."

Good riddance. Punk motherfucker.

You are not allowed in Pissbaby's playroom.

Aww c'mon. I was a sexual being at age 11. I'll have you know that many a girlfriend (and at a young age...a teddy ruxpin) has surprisingly been into my necktie collection. Oxygen deprivation is fun. Unless you're Michael Hutchence. Then you're just "that dude from INXS" who died with his schween in his hand and a belt around his neck. Honestly...who uses a belt?

I thought Shaun Cassidy was dead. Am I thinking of the wrong person?

Butch Cassidy. Shaun's surprisingly mannish, field-hockey-playing sister. Tragically killed when PissBoy's 12-year-old girlfriend pulled too hard on a necktie during a juvenile sexual prank.

jM that is prescisely why I am going to find a flat with ample dungeon....ummmm....closet space...it'll be like Pokemon, gotta catch 'em all

think I should megbon? I am already writing a piece every 2 or 3 months for the AIA NH newsletter, but that will be primarily architecture related

how does one go about getting a blog...is it free?
I am woefully underinformed about these things

Butch Cassidy. Shaun's surprisingly mannish, field-hockey-playing sister. Tragically killed when PissBoy's 12-year-old girlfriend pulled too hard on a necktie during a juvenile sexual prank.

HA! that was great

Wilmer Valderrama eats poop. I understand that he's got dough from (and still coming in from) That 70's Show, but he was stupid on that, he's stupid on that stupid insult yer mama show, he's stupid on that stupid Bob The Builder knock-off, and I predict that he'll be stupid as ever on the new stupid-ass stupid show.

Valderramalammadippitydingdeedoo needs to be stopped and shipped off to an island somewhere.

I'm not a colored fella, but I'd certainly get down with the Lampanelli. That broad's funnier than watching a baby get drunk.

Kolby, I suspect that you are thinking of Andy Gibb. His love is higher than a mountain, love is THICKER THAN WATER.

He also just wants to be your everything.

Bethy, blogs are indeed free. Go over to Blogger. (I don't have one because I'm woefully boring.)

I must be the only person who doesn't like Lisa Lampanelli. I just don't think she's funny...she's trying to be funny by being shocking and outrageous. Put a little thought into your humor. I like jeff Dunham...that man cracks me up every time.

Bethy, that's awesome! I wish I could do that, I would drop my loser friends in a heartbeat...I mean...I'd be willing to limit my speaking time with friends and family for a chance to live somewhere else for a change...yeah...

And you definately need to blog. Ask around...many of these people have excellent blogs and know far more than they let on.

Honestly...who uses a belt?

Lots of people, PissBoy...lots of people. I receive at least one autoerotic accident submission a month for my journal...dog collars tied to rope, nooses, chains, homemade vibrators attached to electrodes, plastic bags, inhalation of various gases...people will go to crazy extremes to get off.

I wonder if that journal in any way contributes to my warped state of mind? Nah.

Bethy girl, I feel you, I only knew the Great American Hero song from Seinfeld as well. I don't know the realy lyrics, they will always be "believe it or not George isn't at home." And I'm 28.

"The Golden Girls" Pillowfighting-with-the-Bishop episode made the cut?

I think I vomited a little in my moth, socalled

I receive at least one autoerotic accident submission a month for my journal

... and that's when my head exploded.

I think I vomited a little in my moth

Your pets are your own business, but dragonflies are just as cheap and way cooler. Also, they enjoy eating vomit.

Wait...I thought Shaun Cassidy was dead too! I need to brush up on my 70's effeminate pop stars.

Yus, Bethy, blogs are indeed fun. I'm too much of a lazy fucker to maintain a proper blog, though, so I have a tumblelog. It's a lot easier than a regular one. You can do posts and such, but you can also just put a quote in there, or upload a song you like or whatever. It's handy.

http://www.tumblr.com

ummmm, Julie? is that journal available for publication? because if not, it needs to be very very soon. that would probably just about make my week.

Thanks Shadows! today is my last day of work before I pack up my whole life to either be transported in two suitcases or shoved haphazardly into storage for a bit. am I happy about that? hell yeah I am!!

Blogger you say Nicole...hmmmm, must look into this.

And any of you out there who have a blog, I need all the advice on how this works that I can get!

Bethy, Blog it up, girl!

hmmmm, this tumblelog intrigues me jaci

I too am lazy

I'm having difficulty concentrating on the other parts of the round-up after reading about Wilmer Valderrama's possible show.

My mind is whirling with all the laugh-free racist and ethnic high-jinks that suggests. And it's on Fox. Makes me think of my one viewing of the awful Carlos Mencia and I don't want to ever think of him again.

Pissboy, you worry me a little.

Bethy, blogger.com is basically idiot-proof... I'm ample evidence of that. I don't know shit about html or code or whatever, but blogger'll basically walk you through it.

Hee, Bethy, it is but it's a medical journal, so a subscription would cost you around $450 dollars. It's geared towards medical examiners and forensic pathologists.

Sigh...Romany Malco. The clip they showed of the (motherfucking) Love Guru on the Daily Show the other day featured him, and it made my heart weep. You're better than that my gorgeous assed friend!

It's okay Stephanie. I understand. Just stay far enough back from the glass and no fluids should hit you.

idiot-proof... I'm ample evidence of that

Oh, come on! Don't make it that easy!

Mouth, socalled...MOUTH. Don't use my typo to advance your sick fantasies. Any more than you already do, anyway...

Pissboy, you worry me a little.

You're doing better than me...I worry about him a lot.

I wonder if that journal in any way contributes to my warped state of mind? Nah.

Yes. It keeps it healthy. If you were surrounded by normal, everyday things all the time...the Julie we know and love intimately would die..and then where would I be?

blogger.com, eh? I've been dying to share my romantic escapades and daring adventures out at sea... and my seven-month photo diary of my ten a.m. bowel movements.

PissBoy, one of these days you're going to post about all things innocent, like coloring books and going to the zoo and baby bunnies and Newsies. I can feel it.

"Yes, Joshua Jackson."

Good riddance. Punk motherfucker.

I watched the pilot for Fringe - Jackson was pretty hot, for a corpse. Such a great loss...

It's geared towards medical examiners and forensic pathologists.

Of course, Julie. This explains so much. You and the jodester work at the morgue. Was this discussed previously? Did I miss Pajiba college that day?

and my seven-month photo diary of my ten a.m. bowel movements.

"I don't know, ma'am, when was the last time you saw Richard Nixon and the Virgin Mary in the same place at the same time?"

damn Julie, I was looking forward to warped sex stories, but I don't have $450 to spare, or the edumication for that type of readin'

guess I will just have to wait until they get down to my name on the hold list for Bonk at the library

guess I will just have to wait until they get down to my name on the hold list for Bonk at the library

I'm reading that right now; it's pretty darn good. That Mary Roach writes like a Pajiban, complete with interposed snarky comments right in the middle of otherwise normal sentences. (That's a compliment.)

Hee. And NO, socalled. Medical publishing. Jodie doesn't have a fucked up journal like me, I have the one where I'll yelp audibly and my friends come running to see the pictures of beheadings, gunshot wounds, people who were eaten by dogs or sharks or bears, mob killing, people who shoot themselves in the face with a bow and arrow. This journal has made me paranoid. I'm too klutzy NOT to die like some of these people.

That Mary Roach writes like a Pajiban

Awesome. I really gotta get that book. If I weren't in the middle of three other books, I'd have ordered it already.

Ooh Bethy and Socalled, I'm bringing Bonk to the beach. I've never read Mary Roach before, I'm really excited to read it.

Celery, are you talking about that cutesy 90's movie w/ Paul Rodriguez and that girl from Thirtysomething? If so, they played that to death on basic cable. I remember it well, and it was called A Million to Juan here in the states.

This reminds me of a fairly silly quiz I did once online to find out the most likely manner of my death. I was expecting something statistically likely, like a heart attack or stroke.

When my score was tallied, the answer popped up:
'Killed by a co-worker'.

That makes me laugh, and I have no idea why.

people who shoot themselves in the face with a bow and arrow

The lesson, as always: Never bet against natural selection.

Ha! Stephanie, I'm most likely to die in a horrible "walking innocently down the hallway" accident, I get hurt in the most innocuous of ways. I cut myself with goat cheese last week.

I've already determined how I'm gonna go out: I'm driving a gasoline-soaked school bus through a wall of flaming televisions (ala Wendy O. Williams).

Either that or I'm gonna jump into the Orca tank at SeaWorld and turn that bitch into an underwater Thunderdome. Two Mammals Enter, One Mammal Leaves.

I cut myself with goat cheese last week.

It's true. I saw the scar.

'Will you excuse me? I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood.'

Apparently, I will die while saving someone's life.

Which is weird, because there's, like, four people who's lives I would save. I suppose I should call those dumb bastards and tell them to be careful.

Julie and socalled, Bonk was out of the library because it was a new release, but I did manage to get my hands on Stiff and Spook

they took me 2 nights each to read
loved them, her writing style is addictive and the footnotes never failed to crack me up

I kept reading whole paragraphs outloud to the Boy when he was trying to fall asleep because they were so funny and I just had to share

its actually a suprise he didn't try to strangle me right then and there

goat cheese Julie? really?

I would love to read Stiff as well, I already know so much about forensics from my damned journal , it would be fun to read a lighthearted book on the subject.

Yup. Goat cheese. I won't elaborate, let's just say that I am a bumbling idiot who needs to wear a helmet at all times.

Julie,
I have one you can borrow.

Wait...should I have admitted that just now? It's for snowboarding, I swear!

its actually a suprise he didn't try to strangle me right then and there

Good thing, too, or PissBoy would have emerged from the closet and fucked both of you.

a bumbling idiot who needs to wear a helmet at all times

Especially when pillowfighting with the Bishop.

Man, I thought I was the only person in the world who watched American Gothic. I loved and was addicted to that show. AND I was PISSED when it was canceled.
I mean Gary Cole as the Devil! How do you get any better than that?

Good thing, too, or PissBoy would have emerged from the closet and fucked both of you.

Hee hee.

This is totally off-topic, but I thought the boozies out there in the Pajiba-verse might enjoy this article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/25/dining/25mini.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Now I want a sidecar. Or a margarita. Or a beer. (Homer Simpson)Mmmm, any type of alcohol. (/Homer Simpson)

As an aside... NBC is showing the first episode of Saturday Night Live this week. (Hosted by George Carlin).

Good thing it's Wednesday. Or, as I like to call it, Khyberday. The great thing about Khyberday is it can be easily substituted for any day of the week!

For those not in Philly, the Khyber is an awesome dive bar where one can purchase bottles of beer at happy hour for one dollar. It's great fun to coerce Julie into leaving work early with the promise of dollar lagers.

I mean Gary Cole as the Devil! How do you get any better than that?

Ahhh, that is nifty casting. Sure, he'll always be "Midnight Caller" to me, but I'm always happy to see him turn up, especially on "Harvey Birdman" and as Ricky Bobby's dad.

Oh, Yuengling, I miss you so.

The rest of Philly... not so much.

ahhhh, but little does PissBoy know socalled, I don't have a closet in our bedroom, it's in the dining room!

(don't ask...old house...just go with it)

Good thing, too, or PissBoy would have emerged from the closet and fucked both of you.

Not true. Not ture at all. The Boy would be forced to watch whilst strapped to a giant record player, bound at the feet and ankles, spinning on the center spindle. Playing on the record player? Lloyd Price's Stagger Lee, original version...on repeat.

There's people who haven't seen "Motel Hell"?

I know!!

Julie: Do you also accidentally make yourself bleed with your own fingernails? I damn near took off a thumb with my own fingernail when I slipped trying to open a jar.

'Will you excuse me? I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood.'

HA! Jodester, I love that movie.

"Um...I invented Post-Its."

Ha!

ahhhh, but little does PissBoy know socalled, I don't have a closet in our bedroom, it's in the dining room!

...the last thing you want to do is begin to provide me a map of your home.

celery, sweetie, I haven't read all the comments, but oh, baby, did I have it bad for Shaun Cassidy back in the day. My best friend and I would AUDIOTAPE....that's right...take a cassette player, set it up in front off the big ol' console TV and tape every word said and every cheesy song sung on "The Hardy Boys." Then, we would cat-fight over who was hotter, Shaun or Parker (he of "the big one" according to Kirstie) My vocal teacher's husband worked in a record store and she gave me a six-foot square album cover of "Born Too Late." OMG!!!! That thing was in my bedroom for far, far too long. And, yes, we saw him in concert. My best friend was a PK (preacher's kid) and took full advantage of the free long distance, paid by the congregation, to call something like 400 times until we got thru to get tickets. And yes, sadly, I still have a record player and still own the vinyl albums from way back then. Just because they are curiosities now, of course.....

By the way, He-of-the-feathered-hair was also responsible for the ultra-cool and far too soon cancelled "American Gothic" with the amazing Gary Cole.

ooo, nice article thejodester

now I want to go home and experimet with booze...

oh! and I tried the ginger beer and gin Ted!

I am in love with it

one ginger beer left, anyone care to hazard a guess what I am doing when I get home to celebrate no more work?

Question:

Do I get to keep the giant record player PissBoy?

Because if so.....well, let's just say I believe a mutually beneficial agreement can be reached

Let me know, I'll be right here

and my seven-month photo diary of my ten a.m. bowel movements.

"I don't know, ma'am, when was the last time you saw Richard Nixon and the Virgin Mary in the same place at the same time?"

I'm waiting for news coverage of the Jesus poop. I mean, if he's in toast, he's got to come out somewhere.

...the last thing you want to do is begin to provide me a map of your home.

Take his advice Bethy. Whenever I hear a strange noise in my apartment I assume it's PissBoy, hiding under my kitchen sink, sharpening his knives. And claws.

dammitjanet
that's awesome. it sounds like you didn't the earlier post where i wrote that i saw him in concert and had a poster of him ripped from tiger beat magazine (leif garret on the flip side) on my bedroom wall.

Brie, you are right, it's "a million to juan". "juan in a million" should have been the sequel. or prequel i think it was before his turn in DC Cab.

Nobody's going to correct this?!

Ahem, Bosom Buddies used Billy Joel's "My life" as its theme song.
It also starred TOM HANKS who cannot be confused with William Katt. Jeesh.

Since we're back on the theme song again...when I hear it in my head, the lyric goes 'Believe it or not, it's just pee'.

That is all.

You are a crackhead. We need to get beer later.

I did see that, celery, I just didn't know how many other ol.....I mean, experienced, broads like us, had answered!!!

Nobody's going to correct this?!

Ahem, Bosom Buddies used Billy Joel's "My life" as its theme song.
It also starred TOM HANKS who cannot be confused with William Katt. Jeesh.

Who doesn't know that??

Okay, just because I do often means nothing. But I couldn't find the error you're correcting.

Ginger beering it up, no doubt.

Ah, if only I was 21. Alcohol would be so much easier to buy.

I doubt I'm going to remember my 21st birthday.

Julie, your life is clearly 8 kinds of awesome that I am missing. This must be rectified forthwith! Also, it sounds like you and TK (whom I respect with all due solemnity) could swap some mean self-injury/bizarre accident stories. For the good of us all, this must be done where we all can read/hear it, popcorn and all.

Great link, jodester, that's exactly the way to approach making cocktails, and that's the way I approach the kitchen, too. Drives the missus all kinds of crazy that I'm not fond of recipes. Dammit, I like six eggs in the carbonara.

A word to the wise, however: A gimlet is never made with vodka (shudder), and hardcore drinkers don't take a sweetener in it either. Gin and lime juice, to taste.

Lordhelmet, my life is half a cup of boring and half a cup of vulgarity mixed with a teaspoon of complete ass-hattery and a pint of Guinness. Which means I fall down a lot in my apartment and then curse the baby Jesus in ways that would make an old lady swoon.

Bethy...sure you can have the turntable. But I get to keep the giant 45. Something tells me there aren't many 12' singles out there.

Which means I fall down a lot in my apartment and then curse the baby Jesus in ways that would make an old lady swoon.

I love it when you sweet-talk me...

hahaha, I only remember the first 5 minutes of mine jaci

apparently I told the Boy that it was alright to cheat if the guy is hot, but that it doesn't work the other way around

I still deny it to this day

and I dunno PissBoy, what good is the turntable without the record? I amy have to rethink this....

and it's cool Julie, its cool. I am moving out at the end of the week. a map of the apt won't do him much good if the apt is empty.

at least I assume so.....

Bethy, just sos ya knows, I gots a turntable, too....and the albums to go with it....and 45's....including some of those nifty COLOR ones!!!! You can come over, we can play some swingin' tunes and have some lovely mango margaritas!!!

You can come over, we can play some swingin' tunes and have some lovely mango margaritas!!!

In your underwear and socks! And then pillow fight! And then practice making out!

...purely for your own enjoyment of course...it's not like I'd be outside the window with a video camera in one hand...

I am knocking on your front door as we speak dammitjanet

SoD......you are sick and twisted....that is what I LOVE about you!!!!

You know, I did buy a new teddy just for the occasion....

hmmmm, I posted that before I saw Shadows comment....maybe we should change the location?

I'm answering the door...in my pink and black teddy, just for SoD....frozen beverages in hand, Cindy Lauper's She's So Unusual on the turntable.....

oh well then, if you are up for it dammitjanet, I am too!!

bring on the cameras Shadows!

but we do require a cut of the profits

Dakaron you lucky bastard, make damn sure you get me a copy of that footage ASAP, you hear? Thanks in advance, ladies!

Knowing Shadows as much as a comment thread can allow, which I assume is pretty well, I wager his footage will look like one of those 'Bigfoot' caught on tape types of videos. 2 miles away. Camera all shakey. Out of focus. Children in the background screaming. Not saying Bethy and dj will be a fuzzy lumbering mass, but they'll appear that way. Kinda like how a big snake filmed through forced perspective can be confused with the loch ness monster. Except Shadows will be 2 miles away because of the distance he's ordered to keep from schools; camera shaking because one hand will be too 'busy' for the other hand to bother holding steady; out of focus because of the mystery fluid smeared on the lens; and children screaming because "Mommy why is that man touching himself in the bushes?" Now that I think about it...yeah...this pillow fight will definitely be a party. I'll bring my teddy ruxpin and 2 of my best ties.

Only you, PissBoy, could raise this to a whole new level. [tips hat].

Oh, and every time I see your name, I think "it's good to be the king!"

From one good Brooks fan to the next sir!

...and I was gonna go by the handle 'Bucket of Shit' but thank god good taste prevailed!

You are all sick sick sickos.

[goes back to her knitting]

"No no, that's dee moe-nay"

"DON'T correct me."

Damn, PissBoy, you just keep making my day better.

Julie dear, coming from you that's a compliment. Mind those sharp needles! (Knitting while making out with Janet? Kinky!)

"Knowing Shadows...2 of my best ties"

Sounds surprisingly like someone who doesn't want a free copy of the quality-level stunning introduction to my new series: "Pajibite Hotties Gone Wild and Drunk!"

Now only $39.95...free to any native Pajibian (must have proof of identity in the form of answering riddles and trivia)

All participating ladies get a complimentary one-time profit share in the initial sale of any video where it can be proven they are featured (visual proof of said scene always helpful)

That's what I love about you Shadows, you're always thinking. Make sure to catalogue any identifying features/birthmarks/tattoos, etc, for positive ID. Oh, and any participant automatically gets a "Debauchery Plus" Pass on MurderMaid. Everybody wins!

Knitting? Knitting? There are needles there Julie. Keeop in mind...you cut yourself with a block of effing goat cheese.

That's like telling a retard not to play with a tennis ball because it's dangerous but then giving them a loaded rifle with a blockage in the chamber.

I don't use needles, I'm not allowed to play with sharp things. I knit with a set of plastic sporks while cocooned in bubble wrap.

And them soft cheeses are treacherous.

PissBoy, maybe if Julie hurt herself Janet would switch role-plays and become a sexy nurse! Give Julie some credit, maybe she's planning something to blow our minds!


Or maybe she's in hospital as we speak...Say it ain't so Jules, I need my drunken morale officer!

Helmet, I am alive and well and currently not sprained or broken in any way. The goat cheese is at home, so I'm safe.

Another little alcohol tip. If you ever decide to mix club soda with Baileys and ice to make a great summertime long drink, make sure there is no added lime juice in the soda.

Let's just say chemistry comes into play and it doesn't end well .

Thank Godtopus, Jules. Good to see you without any additional holes or puncture wounds. Carry on then.

Pajibite Hotties Gone Wild and Drunk!

Fer chrissakes, check their IDs, SoD; I have the distinct sense your narrow little Larry Niven-loving ass wouldn't do well in the pen.

If you ever decide to mix club soda with Baileys and ice to make a great summertime long drink

[perplexed look] What? Why?

Good to see you without any additional holes or puncture wounds.

Unless you want a real-time review of the other Crash. (bah-bing!)

I'm beginning to see that I cannot leave the computer unattended for longer than 34 seconds. Also, Servo and I have roughly the same capacity for self-injury in stupid ways. I'm currently wearing a bruise that I sustained last Friday while putting the iced tea pitcher back in the fridge. I didn't see the refrigerator door. That was four inches from my face.

Clutzes of the Pajibaverse, I am a sympathetic ear*. Regale me with your stories, escapades, near-misses, and of course, spectacularly unlikely injuries!


*ok, so I'm not so selfless that I won't use your stories as cautionary tales or for my own amusement, but this could be quite a diversion - strangest or most bizarre injuries/accidents/incidents.

Aaaaand...go!

Heather Graham was good in License to Drive. Because she spent most of the movie passed out and locked in the trunk of a car.

lordhelmet, you're getting this started a little late in the day for the Easties. Mine is fairly tame: Playing second base in softball with a really good shortstop. A grounder drilled hard into the third base gap, the guy makes a Ripken-esque diving stab, catches the ball and comes up gunning for the runner who was at first.

Me? I'm admiring some girl in the bleachers and wondering where my next drink is coming from. I turn just in time to take about a 75 MPH softball to the high cheekbone.

Did you know that a black eye can actually be a black half-face? Also, every drop of blood in your body can fit into one eyeball. It's true.

Sorry Easties, I'm a West-Coast Canuck with no life. This diversion of course could be run as its own article if the Lords of Kobol Pajiba wished.

My baseball story is that yes, coke-bottle glasses can absorb a direct hit, and yes, when thick enough, don't crack or even chip. They do hurt like a bitch being driven into one's skull, however.

*hick* dam mago margitas gud.. i lub u gys.. bthy...gimme kissssss

Well, socalled, I mixed Baileys, ice and club soda, didn't notice the soda label mentioned 'added lime juice', and ended up with a mad scientist-style glass of gray marshmallow-y pudding foaming out of the glass. It curdled BADLY.

Didn't impress anyone with my drink- making 'skillz'. I'll just stick to whiskey on the rocks from now on.

Oh Connie Selleca, what happened to you? Oh right, you were an actress and turned 40 at some point.

mix club soda with Baileys and ice to make a great summertime long drink, make sure there is no added lime juice

OLD GREGG DOES NOT APPROVE!!

Baileys don't need nothin, and Baileys sure ain't afraid of scurvy.

But your coffee probably won't mind having it added.

Yeah, I'm with Jay on this one. Bailey's generally works alone. On occasion he will subcontract his work as a sidekick (coffee or Bushmills springs to mind as a leading man), but he never takes a sidekick.

This public service announcement was brought to you by BABS, Boozehound Alcohol Brotherhood Service. Please don't abuse alcohol; the poor alcohol doesn't deserve it.

dmmmmmjnttttttttt

booze!!!!!!!

wherzkeyz??

nvermnd....I sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep on sofaaaaaaa

Shaaaadowszz!!

cooooooooooome here....brin Julez!!!

[hic-cup]

mago magritaz!!!!!

WOOOOOOHOO!!!!

'On occasion he will subcontract his work as a sidekick (coffee or Bushmills springs to mind as a leading man), but he never takes a sidekick.'

Thanks for the great advice B.A.B.S. I have learned the error of my ways, Jay.

I'll definitely try it with coffee or Bushmills.

dmmmn i ndddddddddd mrr tkla btheeeeeeeeee sh---
*hic*

shaaaadozzzz?

tkkkkkkkkk?

lrdhlmt?

LTS MKA BUZ RUN!!!!

'n den lts pay STRIP PKER!!!! YEAH!!!!!! I NVER GNNA GO DA WRK AGIN!!!!!!! FUG 'EM!!!!!!!!

*vurp*

urgh..........

Holy crap.

George Carlinton was a great funny man and he will be missed.

Well,not sure if this is necessary now that mango margaritas are flowing, but I have to note that Shaun Cassidy also produced Roar, which gave us Heath Ledger. Also, he was the cuter Hardy Boy, no question.

Mmm, Baileys.