Pajiba

The Six Most Successful Career Redefining Roles

2010-02-09T19:30:00Z

Being typecast as a certain kind of actor is a bitch, particularly for younger actors (especially those on long-running television shows) who are identified with certain characters or types of roles. Unfortunately, there's usually an expiration date on those types of characters/roles, so an actor is faced with one of two options: Ride it out as long as you can (see The Olson Twins and Michael J. Fox, to an extent) or do something dramatic to redefine yourself. Sometimes, however, you can overshoot when you're attempting to redefine yourself -- look at Elizabeth Berkeley (Showgirls) and Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me), who essentially flushed their movie careers down the toilet by showing us too much. Of course, people like Adam Sandler (Punch-Drunk Love), Jim Carrey (The Truman Show), and Will Ferrell (Stranger than Fiction) have also made these dramatic career movies, but in doing so, they didn't redefine themselves so much as they expanded their options and gained some (fleeting) respect.

Meanwhile, Dakota Fanning is currently in the re-defining process, which she began by getting raped in Hounddog and will continue with The Runaways, though it's my belief that she's jumping the gun -- she had several years left in that wise-beyond-her-years teenager character, and over-sexualizing herself this soon may backfire. Let's hope she doesn't fall into the Lohan pit and come out on the other side in the pages of Penthouse. Some actors, however, have managed to do it gradually -- Jessical Biel is a good example of this.

I'm more of a fan of the huge risk-taking role that can redefine an actor all at once. These are the five best examples of that:

5. Natalie Portman as Alice in Closer: Portman was something of the Dakota Fanning of her time -- she played a wise-beyond-her-years teenager (or younger) in moves like Leon and Beautiful Girls, and then safe daughter roles in Anywhere But Here and Where the Heart Is. Her issue, however, wasn't so much the fear of being typecast in that sort of role as it was in her decision to play Queen Padmé Amidala in the second Star Wars trilogy. But, she deftly nipped that in the bud before the trilogy had even completed by starring in a erotic infidelity flick as a heartbroken stripper, which instantly gave her credibility as an adult actress. The key in this career redefinition: Find a good director, like Mike Nichols. It helps, too, if you can accomplish this feat without gratuitous nudity (see Showgirls).

Before Closer:

After Closer:

4. Tom Hanks as Andrew Beckett in Philadelphia: This one is kind of the gold standard for career redefining roles, but for the fact that at least the film before this one (Big) revealed that Tom Hanks was actually a great actor, and not just a leading man in a lot of decent-to-great 80s comedies. But in playing a gay man with AIDS in his Oscar-winning turn in Philadelphia, Hanks completely changed his career -- before it, he was a comedian. After it, he was an Oscar caliber actor, and save for You've Got Mail, he's never really turned back (sadly, for many of us, who miss the comedic version of Hanks).

Before Philadelphia:

After Philadelphia:

3. Heath Ledger as Skip in Lords of Dogtown: Before Catherine Hardwick's Dogtown, Ledger was a Teen Beat pin-up boy, best known (at least in America) as the guy from 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale. He had attempted to break out before Dogtown in The Patriot, but that felt more like the guy from A Knight's Tale doing a period piece. Dogtown, which was not particularly successful in and of itself, but it did establish Ledger as a credible actor, which would eventually lead him to an Oscar-nominated turn in Brokeback Mountain and an Oscar winning one in The Dark Knight.

Before Lords of Dogtown:

After Lords of Dogtown:

2. Joseph Gordon Levitt as Neil in Mysterious Skin: After five years playing a teenager on "3rd Rock from the Sun," JGL could've gone the way of Jonathan Taylor Thomas or Chad Allen and taken a quick trip toward obscurity, or worse, one of those drug-addled former child actors. But JGL took the Macaulay Culkin route (it didn't work for Culkin, unfortunately -- he was too synonymous with Home Alone): He took in a daring role as a victim of child abuse in Mysterious Skin, and he completely delivered. It didn't get him a lot of notice with audiences, but it was recognized by the people that matter in Hollywood, which is how he ended up with Brick. Rian Johnson's film may have given him the breakthrough role he needed, but Mysterious Skin was the career redefining one.
Before Mysterious Skin:

After Mysterious Skin:

1. Michelle Williams as Alma and Anne Hathaway as Lureen Newsome in Brokeback Mountain: Not only did Brokeback Mountain complete Heath Ledger's career redefinition, it redefined the careers of both Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway. Before Brokeback, Williams was Jen Lindley from "Dawson's Creek." After Brokeback she was an Oscar nominated actress and Hollwyood's new indie darling. Likewise, before Brokeback, Anne Hathaway was a Disney actress (The Princess Diaries, Elle Enchanted). She exposed a little breast in a tasteful way, and now she's a respected Oscar nominated actress. She doesn't always pick the best parts, but she's at least made the successful transition to an grown-up film star.

Before Brokeback Mountain (Michelle Williams):

After Brokeback Mountain (Michelle Williams):

Before Brokeback Mountain (Anne Hathaway):

After Brokeback Mountain (Anne Hathaway):

Dare Review

2010-02-09T19:00:32Z

"Friday Night Lights'" Zach Gilford has been making incremental progress in his effort to jump from the small screen to the big, starting (more or less) with last year's fairly terrible Post-Grad opposite Alexis Bledel. My guess is that he's also trying to shed his stammering Cusackian persona, too. In Adam Salky's tepid Dare (out on DVD today), Gilford plays Johnny, a high-school bad boy who gets caught in a love triangle with one male and one female classmate.

Emmy Rossum (The Day After Tomorrow, Poseidon) has her own child-actor reputation to work off, too. In Dare, she plays Alexa, a nerdy drama student with virginity to spare, who -- after a brief conversation with a real actor (a one-scene turn from Alan Cumming, which is the highlight of the movie) -- decides to undergo her own She's All That fuck-me-boot-girl transformation, achieving her ultimate Blanche DuBoisian goal by allowing Johnny to trespass into her womanhood.

Meanwhile, her best friend, a misfit geek by the name of Ben (Ashley Springer) attempts to break out of his closet by also making advances on Johnny, and by advances, I mean: Go down on him at a swimming pool. Complications ensue when the friendships at the center of the love triangle crumble and bad-boy Johnny realizes he doesn't really want to be a bad boy -- he just wants a mommy and someone to love him.

Dare is ostensibly about high-school identity and and social anxiety, but if feels more like three interrelated episodes of "Extreme Makeover: Personality Edition" strung together to make an all too obvious point: All the cosmetics and threesomes in the world won't change your essence. Dare is actually well-intentioned, and has some good points to make -- that we're not defined by our type -- it just fails to make them well. It falters under stilted dialogue, icky "Afterschool Special" sexuality, and bland direction. Still, while Gilford doesn't exactly shed that Cusackian image, he's the bright spot in the film, displaying considerable range and getting to that soft sensitive spot at the center of the bad-boy caricature. He can't save Dare, but he might just salvage his post-"FNL" career.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He is forced to run obnoxious ads in order to remain so. If you would like to point out a spelling, factual, or grammatical error, please have the courtesy to email him. Otherwise, comments are very welcome below.

Pajiba Love 02/09/10

2010-02-09T18:00:00Z

I was actually really excited to hear that "Small Wonder," the sitcom which was a staple of my youth, was out on DVD this week -- until this reminded me as to how fundamentally terrible the show actually was. Well ... Maybe I'll just Netflix it. (FourFour)

Just a reminder -- for those of you who would like to see more of Brian Prisco on your television screens -- the Prisco Relief Fund is still looking for donations. He's already halfway there, and our own Boozehound has offered to match reader contributions up to $1500! (Prisco Relief Fund)

Lindsay Lohan has found a new unwitting sap to help "pick her career back up." But, um, can she really not do any better than the leader of the "heroin chic" modeling movement? (Agent Bedhead)

One of the bloggers from Chris and Qualler's Pop Culture Blogulator teaches a high school film studies course, and, after watching Eternal Sunshine, had the students blog about what film connections they got from it. It's kind of adorable in a "there's no hope for the youth of America" kind of way. (MLA Film Studies)

I know you were all looking forward to "Snooki's" dating reality show but the "Jersey Shore" midget has done the unthinkable in today's society and found a boyfriend without the aide of a television crew. (Litelysalted)

Here's a really darling online comic book I happened across which is written by a five-year-old boy and rendered by his 29-year-old brother. Via ASWOBA, via Pop Candy. (Axe Cop)

I was at a Super Bowl Party on Sunday where people had certain ideas about the Super Bowl that for some reason did not involve puppies. So here, thankfully, is a recap of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl VI. (Warming Glow)

Here are 25 noticeable mistakes from James Bond movies. (Unreality)

Sarah Silverman says that if you support gay marriage and get married yourself that you're basically a giant hypocrite -- making me feel guilty about getting misty over all those stupid Valentine's Day engagement commercials. (Evil Beet)

Kendra Wilkinson was photographed sobbing and carrying her baby like a refugee after her husband apparently blew the game on Sunday. But, aww, she's just s'dumb I can't even muster up laughing at her pain. (Celebslam)

Sarah Palin totally got nailed using the old "Mike Seiver" business at one of her recent Tea Party speeches. (Zelda Lily)

Francis Ford Coppola's winery is offering a 25% off sale on bottles of their 2006 Skywalker Ranch. Finally! A meeting of wine and Star Wars that my boyfriend and I can share interest in. (Topless Robot)

Jay Leno thinks just because he got paid to go and help endorse his competitor's show that he and David Letterman are "friends" now. Whether or not this is true all I can say is: WHATEVAAAAR. (Celebitchy)

Rich over at FourFour, in addition to giving us the header piece review of "Small Wonder," also put together this amazing compilation of mirror scares in movies. Enjoy!

Fish Tank Review

2010-02-09T17:30:00Z

God forgive anyone who makes the same mistake I did, sloughing off any future coming of age films about a young girl trying to make it out of her broken home in the projects as the "Insert Clever Slur Here" Precious. Fish Tank is a derivative film, in that the mores it explores are universal -- following dreams, coming of age, teen sexuality, poor home lives, hip-hop dancing -- but director Andrea Arnold claps those themes together between her palms, squashing them together as though she were killing a swarm of flies. The result is a harsh and uncomfortable exploration of one teen girl trying to free herself from the tethers of a horrible life. It's as if someone clawed out all the shitty parts of Step Up or Stomp The Yard and crammed in the meatiest bits of Lolita. As an audience member, you feel complicit in every slag shriek, every slight stroke, every moment when we watch this poor British girl get simply pulverized by the sheer unfairness of life. Its only failure occurs when Arnold lets up the slack and dawdles off into the trappings of independent film tropes: arbitrary shots of birds swooping or trains in the distance, melancholia expressed through walking, and allowing the plot to sort of drift off like a plastic bag aloft in the breeze. However, there are so many wonderful moments, buoyed by some just staggeringly powerful performances, that you can forgive Arnold her jejune errata. Or you can call it the British Precious and feel welcome to go fuck off.

Newcomer Katie Jarvis shines as 15-year-old Mia, a latchkey hellion who spends her time stomping around her projects-neighborhood, head-butting other girls in the face and shouting cunt and fuck every 15 seconds. When not committing acts of soccer hooliganism, Mia spends her time in an abandoned apartment, trying to dance hip-hop to old school beats. It's not part of some school program, it's not her way of making it to the big show, it's just what Mia does, and I like that. She's not great; while she's got some groove, some of the time it's like watching George Michael fight with a lightsaber.

Mia dances as an escape from her awful mother Joanne (Kierston Wareing), a barely 30-something single mother saddled with two daughters. While teen pregnancy is a common plot point in films, it's almost always seen from the perspective of the new high-school mother, but rarely are we shown what happens when a child who had a child at 15 tries to raise a 15-year-old of her own. Joanne never bothered to grow up, and so she treats her daughters like roommates she can swat in the head with a vicious amount of pettiness and spite. She hates her kids for fucking up her life, and so she ignores them by drinking all day and throwing raucous parties.

Enter Connor (Michael Fassbender), a security guard who starts courting Joanne as much as one would expect -- showing up at the house with cans of lager and quick, loud screw jobs with Joanne. The dynamic between Mia, Joanne, and Connor is phenomenally well-established, and easily propels the film into both the fascinating and the grotesque. Arnold sets up the relationship between Mia and Connor so well, she could teach a class on it. Connor tries to play the caring boyfriend, playing nice with the kids, trying to make them like him, but never with any sort of vestige of parenting responsibility. Arnold balances the moments between this young teen and older man with such incredible delicateness that you're never sure whether what you're watching is someone flirting inappropriately or just being sweet. Mia swipes a bottle of vodka from her mother's party and passes out drunk upstairs in her mom's bed. Mia drifts in and out of wakefulness as Joanne insists that Connor prod her out of the bed so they could get their screw on. Connor lifts Mia in his arms and takes her to her bedroom. He sets her gently in the bed, undoing her shoelaces and slipping off her sneakers. Then he unbuttons her pants and removes those, leaving Mia in her panties. He then covers her with a blanket. Again, is it creepy or is he just being a caring person? Is it innocent or deviant behavior? Mia hurts her foot during a family outing, and Connor asks her to jump on his back so he can carry her to the car. Mia climbs up and rests her head on his shoulder. Is he flirting or merely helping a wounded child?

Arnold carries this balance to magnificent lengths for a long while before finally making a decision. At this point, the film completely spirals out of control, taking the story down strange and dark and slightly soap-operaish paths. The rambling only lasts until the penultimate scene, between mother, daughter, and sister, where Arnold gets the film back on track. However, I still feel as though Arnold tripped herself in the middle. It was kind of like watching Full Metal Jacket, where the first part is so harsh and punch-your-face devastating that you can't even consider whether you like the second half because the first was so strong. Fish Tank drowns towards the finale, only to come gasping up for air when it might be slightly too late.

The performances are nonetheless remarkable. This was Katie Jarvis's first movie, and it will certainly not be her last. Her foul-mouthed invective and pure spiteful teen anger were amazing. Mia's never a fragile little dove. She's a child, tempestuous and spiteful and bitchy and unaware of the power of her own sexuality. She endures because she was raised in a war zone by Peter Pan's preggo sis. Fassbender's Connor is a thousand times more horrifying than Humbert Humbert, because he's believable. No one would doubt that Precious' mother was a monster, but the worst monsters are the ones who wear human faces. Again, I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but it's so hard not to laud Fassbender for being so cringeworthy and charming at the same kick. It's like watching a boa constrictor who can smile before devouring people whole. Just as much love and admiration need to be heaped on Kierston Wareing and Rebecca Griffiths, who play Mia's mother and her equally foul-mouthed and precocious little sister Tyler, respectively. Wareing has a difficult role, but she's mercurial and it's riveting. It's immediately apparent where Mia and Tyler get their fiery spirits. Joanne and Tyler lend the film a family dynamic, which adds a profound layer to an otherwise uncomfortable Lolita parable.

Fish Tank surprised and then disappointed me, and then offered some shining moments. I enjoyed its exploration of a burgeoning sexuality without oversexualizing the young girl. There's just as much voyeurism towards the men of the film as the women. Mia spends most of her time in a baggy tracksuit, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail; she's not trying to flaunt around in a belly shirts and hot pants. It's a seemingly accurate representation of what happens after a teen mom has to face the fruits of her labor. And while not every teen pregnancy necessarily has to end up with a single beer-swilling mom shouting profanity at her children, this relationship was shockingly realistic to watch. Fish Tank marks a promising start to several careers, almost at the level of Danny Boyle's Shallow Grave. And it's just as black and disturbing.

"24" Going to the Big Screen

2010-02-09T16:04:19Z

While this rumored last season of "24" is having its ups and downs, it seems like a good enough time to break out the feature film rumors again. Jack ratings may be down a little (actually, 11.4 million for the 8th season premiere seems pretty decent to me), but he's not out. If Fox doesn't pick up a ninth season, a big screen adaption could be a nice send off for our beloved hero and on the current playing field it could even set up a reboot or prequel. Wouldn't you just love to see Taylor Lautner as young Jack, ripping out Robert Pattinson's eyebrow hairs one by one? Or this tag line: Zack Efron IS Jack Bauer!

OK, I'm freaking myself out here. Back to the news -- according to Variety, Twentieth Century Fox film has already hired Billy Ray ("State of Play," "Flightplan") to pen the script. The plan is to send Bauer to Europe because you know, Europe is cool and Jack can drink cappuccinos at those little sidewalk cafes in between rounding up the bad guys for some R-rated torture. At least, I hope it'd be R rated because Jack could use a little action on the side while he's saving us from Europe. Apparently Kiefer Sutherland and the Fox execs are both eager after hearing Ray's pitch. But to keep things in perspective, Kiefer's probably looking at a future with Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab and the Fox executives also approved this season's Emo Renee. On the upside, the 2008 television film 24: Redemption was pretty damned good and ended up receiving a Golden Globe nomination and five Emmy nominations. Redemption kept the best of a 24 season giving Sutherland a good deal of serious screen time, and it left out all the extraneous, silly subplots and characters that help drag the TV series over a whole season.

All in all, if the script is done right and the film is kept to the things 24 does well (action, torture, Jack!), this could end up being a solid entry in the franchise. The big question (apparently for Fox as well, since they're still holding back approval to watch ratings) is whether Jack Bauer is a theater draw. And even as an avid fan, I'd have to say I would probably wait for the DVD.

Christopher Nolan Now Consulting on Superman Reboot

2010-02-09T15:46:43Z

Yesterday, the geek world was masturbating furiously over word that David Goyer -- who recently left as show-runner for "Flash Forward" -- and Christopher Nolan's brother, Jonah, were assigned the task of scripting Batman 3 for Warner Brothers, a small news item that we chose to ignore, because -- come on -- everybody and their pet rock knew that Batman 3 would eventually move ahead the day that The Dark Knight opened.

Today, Nikki Finke -- who will literally strap-on and buttfuck a possum for the scoop (I know a guy who was there) -- breaks new word that makes this story a little more intriguing. Today, we learn that Christopher Nolan himself is moving ahead on development of Batman 3, which isn't surprising, obviously. What is surprising?

He's been asked by Warner Brothers to consult on a Superman reboot.

Apparently, Warner wants to bring him aboard in a "godfather" role, though there's little chance he'd actually direct. He'd be consulting on a fresh take on the franchise, one that would not involve Brandon Routh or Bryan Singer, after they failed (spectacularly) to relaunch the most famous superhero on the planet.

It's a good move, even if Christopher Nolan is only there to basically accept/reject track changes on its development. A wise decision might even be to hire his brother and/or David Goyer to script the new Superman movie, and then bring in a director with a darker, smarter vision.

The only problem with this, of course, is that another Superman reboot could also mean another Superman origins story, only a few years after Singer's version. And honestly, if there's one thing I'm sick to death of with comic-book movies, it's that origins story, which takes up the first act of any comic-book movie before we're actually introduced to the main storyline. At least it's not another reborquel.

Kevin Smith Seeking Internet Financing for "Red State"

2010-02-09T15:24:23Z

As a Kevin Smith fan, I've been with the rest of the folks clamoring for him to get Red State off the ground since he opened his wordhole and gave birth to the idea. Which was burgeoning something around three fucking movies back. For those who don't know, Red State is Kevin Smith's idea for an indie horror film which involves a world turned conservative. Dogma was a daring prospect that kind of became ... well, a Kevin Smith pot-comedy dick-and-fart joke version of an awesome idea. I'm not saying that it wasn't quality, I'm saying that he had investors, and well, it's a business and people want to make money.

Kevin Smith's entire career has been comprised of battles with studios and censors over what he wants to put on the screen and what will actually make money. Mallrats was what happens when he gets six million to make Clerks but has to cut pussy-eating jokes and cast more marketable actors to get that money back. Chasing Amy is what happens when he writes a $5 million dollar movie but sticks to his guns to get the cast of relatively unknowns that he wants and gets only a fraction of the cash. Which is why it's one of his best. And when he sells out? We get Cop Out.

Anyway, a fan suggested to Smith that he start up a website to raise money. To let his fans raise the money -- say, I don't know, twenty dollars a piece -- because they love the guy and respect his work and they want to see more of it on the screen. And the idea was that the fans will be financing Red State -- the uncensored studio-free truly independent grass roots version -- with their own money. It wouldn't be an investment in the film, it would literally be giving Smith money to make a movie.

Well, the other movie blogs -- mostly Bloody Disgusting -- fucking LOST IT. How dare he ask us to foot the bill for his crap, what a greedy piece of shit, fat bastard expects me to pay twice for his nonsense that's not even good the first time, grumble grumble poop. Smith tried to defend it with some sort of half-assed explanation about not taking a salary, and that he was actually turning it into a Project Redbanklight kind of deal where filmmakers can submit scripts and people would communally get movies made and blah blah, shut the fuck up.

Now, I'd be a fucking hypocrite if I said he's got a lot of nerve. I'm basically doing the same fucking thing with my acting career. I'm poor, and so I'm asking for a handout without promising anything. I can't guarantee that I'm gonna be famous, but then again, I need about $4,000. To finance a film, it takes a shitload more twenties than what I'm asking for. Plus, even if he matches funds or skips out on salaries, he's still gotta pay everyone else. Especially little actors like me.

This would have made a hell of a lot more sense about ten years and ten films ago. Still, I want the movie made. What Smith's asking is that we pay twice for a final product. Which is funny, because we're essentially the only ones paying for it the first time. And sure, we can take pride in saying "Hey, I got that fucking movie made!" If we really want the movies we want, we're supposed to vote with our dollar.

I mean, I can't understand why the other sites are getting so outraged over Smith pulling this stunt. If it pisses you off, then don't fucking pay. It's not like he's pulling a Ponzi scheme where he's twirling his fucking mustache and grabbing a big sack of money and running off on a train, laughing like Snidely fucking Whiplash. Does it make him look like a half-assed director? Sure. Does it seem a little low-rent? Of course. But so what? If it takes me giving twenty bucks to get this fucking movie made, then why the hell not? Smith's always doing crazy shit for his fans, from holding open calls for crowd scenes to going around the country hosting awesome nights of speechifying. And if we get a chance to give back? I say good. Give him your fucking money.

But first. Give me your fucking money. Mostly, because I need it worse. And because Ted Boynton, the Boozehound, promised with an incredible spout of generosity to match all funds donated to The Prisco Relief Fund up to $1,500. Just to prove that his heart is almost as big and well-worn as his liver. What's wrong with panhandling for your art? Not a damn thing, I say.

Soderbergh's Contagion Cast News

2010-02-09T15:00:00Z

It doesn't take much to get me interested in a Steven Soderbergh film. Even his ambitious failures (The Girlfriend Experience was pretty dull, I have to admit) are still somewhat interesting, and the man is a true auteur. So when I hear he's working on a new film with an absolutely brilliant cast, I sit up straight and pay attention.

Soderbergh, is currently shooting Knockout, about "a black ops super soldier [who] seeks payback after she is betrayed and set up during a mission." Which sounds decidedly un-Soderbergh-ish, but who the hell knows. It stars Antonio Banderas, Ewan MacGregor and MMA fighter Gina Carano (and weirdly, Channing Tatum -- who shall forever be known as Charming Potato thanks to commenter Mikey Likes It).

Apparently, one of his projects to be filmed after that will be Contagion, which sounds like a novel by Robin Cook or Michael Crichton. According to Variety, it's "based on a script penned by Scott Z. Burns, is described as centering on a deadly disease with multiple plotlines in the same style as Soderbergh's 'Traffic.'"

So far, Soderbergh has cast Matt Damon, Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, and Jude Law. Jesus. That's a hell of a cast. I don't really give a damn what the movie's about -- you give me that cast and Soderbergh in the director's chair, and my ticket is already bought. We're talking heavy duty acting and hotness here. No studio is attached yet, but it's hard to believe one won't snap this one up quickly. Shooting begins later this year.

*Update -- I just Googled Contagion, and it is a Robin Cook novel, though it appears to be unrelated to this film. Strange.

Ondine Trailer

2010-02-09T07:00:00Z

Psshh. Fishermen. "Why just the other day I caught a smoking blonde who moved in with me and my wheelchair-bound daughter. And she can sing to the fish so that they jump in my nets. And I'm as hot as Colin Farrell."

Ok, fine, this actually looks fairly decent as far as the trailer goes. I mean, forgive my skepticism, but "Colin Farrell is an Irish fisherman who catches a mermaid, and mystery and romance ensues" doesn't exactly detonate an excitement bomb. Hell, the only description on IMDB is: "The story of an Irish fisherman who discovers a woman in his fishing net who he believes to be a mermaid." I've heard belly lint described with more enthusiasm, so give that PR firm a gold star.

The trailer, though, is effective in its moodiness and mystery. It's got that Irish spookiness going without lapsing into the quaint pubs, dancing, and Guinness that Hollywood generally associates with anything Irish. Neil Jordan, of Interview with the Vampire, The Crying Game, and Michael Collins fame, wrote, directed and produced the film. He's infused it, at least from the trailer's point of view, with just enough darkness and mystery to feel like an old Irish ghost story. Nifty.

Warner Bros. Options The Heist Society

2010-02-09T03:00:00Z

I guess I'll have to amend my earlier statement. A few days ago, I said, "when you're out of ideas, make a sequel. When you're out of sequels, remake something. When you're out of remakes, reboot something. " Now we can change that ending to "when you're out of reboots, make a teen version of it."

Warner Brothers has apparently optioned the teen-targeted novel "The Heist Society" by Ally Carter (which hasn't even been released yet), which is being described as a sort of Thomas Crown Affair for teens. Super. Slashfilm describes it as being about "a young woman named Katarina Bishop who hails from an extended family of cat burglars and master thieves. The girl leaves her illicit life behind, but when her father is the prime suspect behind a mobster's missing art collection, she assembles a crew to track down the art and steal it back."

Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, Uggs and all. It's a great idea, really. Take all the subtlety, nuance, class, top-notch acting, pacing, sexiness and irony of the The Thomas Crown Affair (in a rare instance of remakes working, both the McQueen and Brosnan versions are great fun), and dumb it down for the teenybopper set. No, really, it'll be great. We can get a few cut-rate CW actors, throw in a sassy black friend (because there's always a sassy black friend), some quick-cut editing, a passionless romantic story, and poof! Instant success. Apparently, they're going to switch the plot to characters in their 20s instead of teens, but in Hollywood terms, what fucking difference does it make.

Yay.

Oddly, Pierce Brosnan claims that they're proceeding with The Thomas Crown Affair 2 as well, although Paul Verhoeven is supposedly directing, so who the hell knows how that will end up.