Star Wars for Babies. So Why Don't You Cry About It?

By Miscellaneous | | March 18, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | | March 18, 2010 |

Here’s something that’s turning a lot of geeks as red as Darth Maul today: George Lucas is working on a new Star Wars-based cartoon called Squishies, and it’s targeted at toddlers and other little kids. I guess the show is inspired by those little Star Wars: Galactic Heroes toys, but whatever, the issue is that it’s more of that money-grabbing, general audience-reaching exploitation that made The Phantom Menace so kid-friendly — and therefore so lame.

I hated The Phantom Menace, too, but that’s because it was just simply a shitty movie. The targeting to kids thing? Been there since at least Return of the Jedi, so what’s the big deal? Complaining about a new Star Wars cartoon because it’s for pre-school and kindergarten aged children is just childish. And if you understand the irony there, you should be turned back around to thinking this is a perfect entertainment for you big babies holding on to what you think the Star Wars franchise is supposed to be all about.

Aside from the terrible name, Squishies really isn’t much different than those old Ewoks and Droids cartoons. Or the young adult books. Or the toys. But sure, keep crying. Act like children and George Lucas will simply think he’s giving the fans what they want.

Here are some disappointed responses to the news:

• IESB:

  A few years ago, when IESB broke the news that both a live action and an animated TV show were in development, we were quite excited about the possibilities, this one on the other hand, just seems like another way for the Lucas Empire to fill up their piggy banks.

  I give an animated Indiana Jones TV series about 2 years before that gets announced.

• Meredith Woerner at io9:
  

  Get ready for the Muppet Babies version of Star Wars. Lucas is rumored to be gearing up for yet another Star Wars show, but this time it’s for the even younger kids. We believe it’s called “Lucas Wants More Money.” […] So yay we may be seeing baby Jabba fight with Baby Han over who gets to ride in the kids seat in the new speeder. Gross.

• Peter Sciretta at /Film:
  

  I’m still waiting for Lucas to develop a new Star Wars film or tv show geared towards the adults that grew up with the series. We’ve been hearing about the development of the Star Wars television series for years now, but there have been no signs that it will enter production any time soon.

• Phil de Semlyen at Empire:
  

  The show is going under the working title ‘Squishies’. Even the Muppet Babies would have baulked at that.

  Whether you deem this an unforgiveable act of legacy-pillaging or a handy intro into the Star Wars universe for wee’uns, the show has a (so-far unannounced) director on board and is heading for a teatime near you.

• Joseph Baxter at The Feed:
  

  As a fan, it’s pointless to complain about the brand being tainted by blatant demographic marketing projects. Technically, that bus left town the moment the first Ewok stepped on screen in Return of the Jedi. In fact, at this point, it’s almost cliche to even point out that there’s nothing left to say. (And I did it anyway, but was ironic about it, which makes me cooler than you.) Instead, I will say only this: One of the key attributes of the Original Trilogy, was its broad appeal to both children AND adults. The same films that entertained me as a child are still amazing to watch and became only deeper as I got older and understood the subtext and drama. Why is it so hard to get back to THAT?

• Rob Bricken at Topless Robot:
  

  What I wonder is if it would be set in the prequels, or the original trilogy. I assume the former, but if it were the latter, I’d probably impregnate Ms. Robot immediately, just so I could have a child and an excuse to watch. Anyways, take this news with a massive boulder of salt, and assume even if it does get made it’ll be about lil’ Anakin and Ahsoka and more Clone Wars. There’s way too much awesomeness that would have to be achieved for anything else to happen.

• Vince Mancini at Film Drunk:
  

  You’re f*cking kidding me now, right? My sources say the show takes its name from Lucas’ pet name for his girlfriend’s titties. Oh how he hates those things. “Ew, not the squishies again!” he’ll say.